Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Picture yourself near a stream. Birds are singing in the crisp, cool mountain air. Nothing can bother you here. No one knows this secret place. You are in total seclusion from that place called “the world.” The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a cascade of serenity. The water is clear… …so clear that you can easily make out the face of the person whose head you’re holding under the water. There now, feeling better?
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A homophobic father admitted his 5 year old son into a military school because his son drew a picture of a rainbow. After 10 years the son thanked his father for admitting him there because that is where he met his boyfriend.
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A married man was visiting his “girlfriend” when she requested that he shave his beard: “Oh, James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face without it.” James replied, “My wife loves this beard. I couldn’t possibly do it. She would kill me!” “Oh, pleasse?” the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice. “Oh, really, I can’t,” he replies. “My wife loves this beard!!” The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and…
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As Benjy and his parents drove down the final stretch of highway towards their brand-new home in St. Louis, Missouri, Benjy’s eyes were wide with fascination at all the skyscrapers and traffic. It was much different from what they had left behind in Paducah, Kentucky. “What do you think of THAT, Benjy?” said his Pa, pointing out the famous Arch to him. Benjy exclaimed, “WOW! And to think that it is only HALF finished!” “WHAT is ‘half finished’?” said his…
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A man was wandering around a fairground, and he happened to see a fortune teller’s tent. Thinking it would be good for a laugh, he went inside and sat down. “Ah….” said the woman, as she gazed into her crystal ball. “I see you are the father of two children.” “Ha, you fortune tellers are all a sham!” said the man, scornfully. “I’m the father of THREE children!” The woman grinned and said, “That’s what YOU think….”
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A nerdy guy walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a couple of drinks. As the bartender is handing him a beer, the guy starts poking at this hand with one finger, and then holds his hand up to his ear and starts talking to it. The bartender is quite bewildered by this, so he says, “What are you doing?” “Well,” says the nerdy guy,” I am a CEO for a top telecommunications company. I have a digital…
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The curator of one zoo was shipping several animals to another zoo, and wrote an accompanying letter which said in part, “Included are the two mongeese you asked for.” The curator paused. “Mongeese” looked funny. He tore up the letter and tried again, saying, “Included are the two mongooses you asked for.” That looked funny, too. After long thought, the curator began a third time and now completed it without trouble. He wrote in part, “Included is the mongoose you…
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Question: “What’s the difference between a nine-month pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold?” Answer: “Nothing, if the pregnant woman’s husband knows what’s good for him!
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An elderly Jewish woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, “Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and gold Rolex.” “But you’re not wearing any of those things,” replied the artist. “I know,” she said. “It’s in case I should die before my husband. I’m sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.”
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A man wanted to buy a parrot, so he goes to the pet shop and inquires about their stock. The attendant shows him a parrot, which is quite exceptional in that it speaks any language you want it to. Intrigued by this, the man decides to test the bird by asking it a few questions: Man: “Do you speak English?” Parrot: “Yes.” M: Hablas Espanol?” P: “Si!” M” “parlez vouz Francaise?” P: “Oui!” M: “Sprechen sie Deutsch?” P: “Jawohl!” M:…
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