Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man and his wife have finished watching a TV movie about a woman who hires a private investigator to find out if her husband is really cheating on her. The man turns to his wife and asks, “Would you do what that woman on TV did?” The woman thinks for a moment and then says, “Well, probably not so much to find out who the other woman is but to see if I could find out what in heaven’s…
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A guy comes home from work to see his girlfriend packed and waiting by the door. “I’m leaving you.” “Why?” he says. “Things were great this morning! What’s changed?” “I heard you were a pedophile.” The guy looks hard at his girl. “Pedophile? Hey! That’s an aaaaawfully big word for a 10 year old!”
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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: A bunch! Men will screw anything!
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Seymour was a good and pious man, and when he passed away, the Lord himself greeted him at the pearly gates of heaven. “Hungry, Seymour?” the Lord asked. “I could eat,” said Seymour. The Lord opened a can of tuna, and they shared it. While eating this humble meal, Seymour looked down into Hell and noticed the inhabitants devouring enormous steaks, pheasant, pastries and vodka. The next day, the Lord again asked Seymour if he were hungry, and Seymour again…
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A jumbo jet took off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH NO!!!” Silence followed and after a few anxious minutes, the pilot came back on the…
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Three men were arguing which animal was the meanest. The first said, “A lion was meanest with big claws and teeth it could tear a person up in a second.” The second man said, “No, it has to be a rhinocerous with that big horn and thick hide it could tear a house down in a minute.” The third man said, “No, the meanest animal on earth is a crocagator.” The other two said, “What the hell is a crocagator.…
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A man took his wife to a Broadway show. During the first intermission, he needed to find the restroom in the worst way, so he hurriedly left the auditorium. He searched in vain for one and couldn’t locate any. Finally, he stumbled across a beautiful fountain with foliage, and since nobody was watching, he decided to relieve himself right there. When he made it back into the auditorium, the second act had already begun. He searched in the dark until…
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A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who’s dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans. Saint Peter addresses this guy, “Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?” The guy replies, “I’m Joe Cohen, taxi-driver, of Noo Yawk City.” Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the taxi-driver, “Take this silken robe…
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Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural America. Panic stricken, the Secret Service mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they got there, the wreckage was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.The Secret Service descended upon the smoking hulk but could find no remains of the crew or the President’s staff. To their amazement, a lone farmer was plowing a field…
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The Rosenthals had an outstandingly happy and successful marriage, and Mr. Rosenthal was once asked to what he attributed this remarkable situation. “It’s simple,” he said. “Division of labor. My wife makes all the small, routine decisions. She decides what house we buy, when we need new cars, where we go on vacation, whether the kids go to private schools, if I should change my job, and so on.” “And you?” “I make the big, fundamental decisions. I decide if…
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