Wives
A group of men were in a bar talking about marriage and their wives when one of them said, “My wife’s an angel.” The fellow across from him looked up from his beer and said, “Geez, you’re lucky! My wife’s still alive.”
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ing Jokes - page 336
Old Man With An Ear Ache
An old man is in the doctor’s office complaining of an ear ache. After examining him, the doctor asks the old man why he has a Preparation-H suppository in his ear. “I don’t rightly know,” the old man replies, “But I hate to think where my hearing aid is…”
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The Case of the Cigars
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sums of money was talking to his lawyer. “If I lose this case, I?ll be ruined.” “It?s in the judge?s hands now,” said the lawyer. “Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?” “Oh no! This judge is a stickler or ethical behavior. A stunt like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hold you in contempt of court. In fact, you shouldn?t even smile at the…
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Steps in It!
A lawyer is walking down the street, and he accidentally steps in a pile of dog mess. A few seconds later, he happens to be looking down at his fee, and he notices is dripping from his shoes. He screams, “AAAHHHH! I’M MELTING!”
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The camel and the donkey
One day a camel and a donkey were walking in the desert. The donkey said, ” I saw 3 oases back a ways.” So the camel and the donkey turned around. They walked and walked until they came upon the 3rd oasis. The camel drank all the water. The donkey said, “What did you do that for?” The camel said, “Shut up, you Jackass, I know what I am doing.” So they walked and walked until they came apon the…
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Lil’ Johnny on Politics
Lil’ Johnny goes up to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well, Son, let me try to explain it this way. I’m the bread winner of the family, so lets call me capitalism. Mummy is the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you The People. The nanny– well, consider her as the working class. Your baby brother, we’ll call him the future.…
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Scientific Explanation
During class, the chemistry professor was demonstrating the properties of various acids. “Now I’m dropping this silver coin into this glass of acid. Will it dissolve?” “No, Sir,” a student called out. “And why not?” the professor queried. “Because if it would, you wouldn’t have dropped it in.”
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Delusions of Grandeur
The new inmate at the mental hospital announced in a loud voice that he was the famous British naval hero, Lord Nelson. This was particularly interesting, because the institution already had a “Lord Nelson.” The head psychiatrist, after due consideration, decided to put the two men in the same room, feeling that the similariy of their delusions might prompt an adjustment in each that would help in curing them. It was a calculated risk, of course, for the two men…
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Forever punishment….
Bill Clinton went to sleep at his desk one afternoon and had a strange dream. In the dream, he died and went to hell. When he gets there, Satan greets him and tells him that he will be there for all eternity, but, because of the way he behaved on earth while living, he gets to choose the type of punishment he will receive. Satan escorts him around and they come to a room where Newt Gingrich is stretched out…
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Beware: The Wrath of Mother Nature
A man and his wife are out playing golf. They tee off and his drive goes to the right while her drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups. Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. The mystery woman looks at the wife…
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