Bad case of v.d.
An Indian girl comes home one day and confronts her mother: “Hey mom I think I got a bad case of v.d.” “Well put it in the basement, then,..” the mother replies, “your father will drink anything”.
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Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Ing Jokes - page 231
3 women escape
3 women escaped from prison, a blonde, brunette, and a red head. They sneak into a hayloft for the night. The brunette finds three gunny sacks and the girls put them over themselves. The sheriff comes to the hayloft and tells the deputy to go check it out. He finds the three gunny sacks on the floor and wants to know what is in them. He kicks the first one, the brunette and she quickly says, “bow wow”. So the…
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The Jerk
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…
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If Men Got Pregnant,…
If men got pregnant… – maternity leave would last two years, with full pay. – there would be a cure for stretch marks. – natural childbirth would become obsolete. – morning sickness would rank as the nation’s #1 health problem. – all methods of birth control would be 100% effective. – all children would be kept in the hospital until toilet trained. – men would be eager to talk about commitment. – briefcases would be used as diaper bags. –…
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Horse Country
A man named Joe was traveling through the countryside and decided to stop at a bar for a drink. Inside, some of the local patrons were watching the evening news on TV. As a picture of Hillary flashed on the screen, Joe said, “There’s a horse’s ass.” Right after he said this, a man walked up to him and knocked him off his stool. A few seconds later, the news showed Chelsea Clinton. Joe said, “There’s another horse’s ass.” As…
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Little Sailor Boy
The Little Boy And The Sailor In a restaurant between San Diego and Camp Pendleton, a young boy was playing in the restroom sink when a sailor came in. “Wow Mister!” said the boy, “Are you a REAL sailor?” “Yes I am! Why, would you like to wear my hat?” replied the sailor. “Neato! Thanks mister!” said the boy, donning the hat and continuing to play in the sink. Shortly after the sailor entered a stall, a Marine came in.…
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HIS and HERS Road Trip
HERS: 1. Pulls off at wrong exit. 2. Opens window 3. Asks directions of a knowledgeable police officer 4. Arrives at destination presently. HIS: 1. Pulls off at wrong exit absolutely positive it’s the correct one. 2. Drives five miles into wilderness, still thinks he’s right. 3. Drives an extra 5 miles just in case. 4. finally rolls down window 5. hocks a loogie 6. pulls up to a 7-11 7. gets three hot-dogs, a large slurpee, and beef jerky…
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Nuns
Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. “Who is it?” calls one of the…
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The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas
The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las’ night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Day 3:…
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Never Satisfied
Two college presidents were talking about how difficult their jobs were. “I wish I ran an orphanage,” said the one president, “and then I wouldn’t have to deal with parents and all the crap they give me.” The second one looked up and said, “I’d like to be the head warden responsible for death row inmates.” The first president look surprised and said, “Why would you want THAT job?” “I wouldn’t have to deal with alumni,” he replied.
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