Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There were three men standing at the Pearly Gates of Heaven, where Saint Peter met them and asked, “What would each of you like to hear your relatives or friends say at your funeral?” The first man answered, “I am a renowned doctor and I would love to hear someone say how I had been instrumental in saving someone’s life and gave them a second chance.” The second man replied, “I am a family man and a school teacher, I…
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It seems a farm boy accidentally overturned his wagon load of corn. The farmer who lived nearby heard the noise. “Hey Willis!!” the farmer yelled. “Forget your troubles. Come in with us. Then I’ll help you get the wagon up.” “That’s mighty nice of you, ” Willis answered, “but I don’t think Pa would like me to.” “Aw, come on,” the farmer insisted. “Well okay,” the boy finally agreed, and added, “But Pa won’t like it.” After a hearty dinner,…
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Bill Clinton and his driver were cruising along a country road one night when all of a sudden they hit a pig, killing it instantly. Bill told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About 1 hour later Bill sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of wine in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn. “What happened to you?”…
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Once there was a duck and he walked in to a pharmacy and said,”Got any grapes?” to the Pharmacist. The Pharmacist, confused, said, “We don’t sell grapes here, this is a pharmacy”. So the duck left. One day later the duck came back and asked the same question: “Got any grapes?” The Pharmacist then replied, “We don’t sell grapes here”. So the duck left. Three days later the duck returned and ask for grapes again. The pharmacist was furious; he…
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Q: How many Deadheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. They just follow it around for 30 years thinking it’s still lit. Q: How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 20. One to hold the bulb, and 19 to huff until the room spins. Q: How many stoners does it take to tell a good joke? A: Um… I forgot
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Father Joseph is walking around his school and sees little Tommy sitting in the sandpit, pouring something on to an ants nest. When the liquid hit the ants, they shriveled up, with a wisp of smoke trailing out. He approached and asked what Tommy had in his hand. “Sulphuric Acid Father,” Tommy replies. Father Joseph must do something about this and so pulls from his robes his own bottle. “How about a swap,” he says. “Dunno,” says Tommy. “What’s in…
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An 85-year-old couple, after being happily married for almost 60 years, died together in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife’s interest in health food and proper diet. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their luxury mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bedroom suite and a fancy in-house jacuzzi. The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was…
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A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned about his employee’s well being, asks sympathetically, “What’s the matter?” The blonde replies, “Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away.” “I’m terribly sorry to hear that. Why don’t you go home for the day… we aren’t terribly busy. Just take the day off and relax.” The blonde very calmly explains, “No, I’d be better off here. I need…
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Did you hear that Cap’n Crunch was murdered last night? The police are saying it’s a cereal killing!
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One night, a police officer was staking out a particularly rowdy bar for possible violations of the driving-under-the-influence laws. At closing time, he saw a fellow stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys on five different cars before he found his. Then the man sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes. By this time, everyone had left the bar and driven off. Finally, he started his engine and…
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