Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy brought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for Christmas. A friend of his said, “I thought she wanted one of those sporty 4-wheel drive vehicles.” “She did,” he replied. “But where in the hell was I gonna find a fake Jeep?”
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A guy traveling through the prairies of the USA stopped at a small town and went to a bar. He stood at the end of the bar, ordered a drink, and lit up a cigar. As he sipped his drink, he stood there quietly blowing smoke rings. After he blew nine or ten smoke rings into the air, an angry American Indian stomped up to him and said, “One more remark like that, and I’ll do my best to remember…
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10..You get a threatening note made up of letters cut out of a magazine with pinking shears, and they’re all the same size, the same font, and precisely lined up in a razor-sharp rows. 9..That telltale lemon slice in the dog’s water bowl. 8..On her TV show she makes a gingerbread house that looks exactly like your split-level, right down to the fallen-over licorice downspout and the stuck half-open graham cracker garage door. 7..You find your pet bunny on the…
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Back in the olden days, a man was traveling through Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching, and the man had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer told him that it would be all right, and that he could sleep in the barn. The man went into the barn to bed down and the farmer went back into the house. The farmer’s daughter came down from upstairs…
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There were three ducks swimming and blowing bubbles in a lake. There was a sign that stated NO SWIMMING OR BLOWING BUBBLES IN THE LAKE. A policeman came by and saw the three ducks and arrested them. When they appeared in court the judge told the first duck to approach the bench and state his name. The first duck said, “My name is Duck.” The judge asked, “What are you in for?” Duck responded, “For swimming and blowing bubbles.” Judge…
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“EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES” Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern. “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)” Well….., that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly…
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A grandmother was telling her granddaughter what her own childhood had been like . . . “We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods.” The little girl was wide-eyed, taking all this in. At last she said, “Gramma, I sure wish I’d gotten to know you sooner!”
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A blonde and a brunette were speeding down a highway. The brunette said, “Watch out for any cop’s lights.” After a while the brunette said, “Are there any cop’s lights behind us?” And the blonde said, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no….”
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A police officer in his car sees a driver out in the open turn on a red light. The cop drives up to the car right away, pulls it over and walks to the driver, seeing that it was a foreigner. “That was a red light over there.” She replied, “I know, so?” “Well, in this country, you can’t turn on a red light.” “But the sign said no right turns on red so I made a left.”
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Why do nurses at the nursing homes give the old men “Viagra” before bedtime? So they don’t roll out of bed.
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