Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
YO MOMMA SO STUPID… Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test! Yo momma so stupid, she thought, “Wu Tang” was an African orange drink! Yo momma so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl. Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order! Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo momma…
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A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.” The son-in-law interrupted, “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.” “I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well, then you’ll…
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“I already have enough laundry to do, thank you.” “Because I think it would take all the spontaneity out of dating.” “My co-op board doesn’t allow spouses.” “I’d have to forfeit my billion dollar trust fund.” “They just opened a great singles bar on my block.” “I wouldn’t want my parents to drop dead from sheer happiness.” “I guess it just goes to prove that you can’t trust those voodoo doll rituals.” “What? And lose all the money I’ve invested…
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Airplanes and women: A comparison 1. An airplane will kill you quickly-a woman takes her time. 2. Airplanes like to do it inverted. 3. Airplanes can be turned on by a flick of a switch. 4. An airplanes thrust to weight is higher. 5. An airplane dosn’t get mad if you “touch and go”. 6. An airplane does not object to a preflight inspection. 7. Airplanes come with manuals. 8. Airplanes have strict weight and balance limits. 9. You can…
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A guy goes into a nightclub wearing a shirt open at the collar and is met by a bouncer who tells him he must wear a necktie to gain admission. So the guy goes out to his car and looks around for a necktie and discovers that he just doesn?t have one. He sees a set of jumper cables in his trunk. In desperation he ties these around his neck, manages to fashion a fairly acceptable looking knot and lets…
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The Italian virgin Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother’s house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her: “Don’t worry, Maria. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take care of you.” So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, “Mama, Mama, Tony’s…
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I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big dick or huge tits. I’ve…
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Lil’ Johnny’s mother had been away a week at a N.O.W. convention, and when she returned home, she was anxious to hear about his week. “Well, one night we had a thunderstorm, and I was scared, so Daddy and me slept together,” her son said. “Johnny!” said the boy’s French Au Pair, “Don’t you mean ‘Daddy and I’?” “No!” replied Johnny. “That was Thursday. I’m talking about Monday night.”
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Ever look at the Help Wanted ads and wonder what they REALLY mean? Here is our guide to Job Search Lingo: “Competitive Salary” We remain competitive by paying you less than our competition. “Join our fast-paced company” We have no time to train you. “Casual work atmosphere” We don’t pay enough to expect that you will dress up; a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings. “Some overtime required” Some every night and some every weekend. “Duties will vary”…
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“EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES” Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern. “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)” Well….., that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly…
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