Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There are these friends who play golf together every Saturday. One Saturday they were getting ready to tee off when a guy asked them if he could join them. The friends looked at each other and then looked at the man and said, “Sure.” So they teed off. About two holes into the game, the friends got curious about what the man did for a living, so they asked him. The stranger told them that he was a hitman. They…
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There was a man whose wife didn’t respond to his desires. This continued for about six months. As frustration built, he decided to see a doctor about his wife’s lack of attention toward him. The doctor gave him a bottle of pills and said, “Now, just before your wife retires, give her a cup of milk and slip a couple of these pills in it. Before you know it, she will be more than obliging.” So he goes home, very…
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A little boy and his grandfather are raking leaves in the yard. The little boy finds an earthworm trying to get back into its hole. He says, “Grandpa, I bet I can put that worm back in that hole.” The grandfather replies, “I’ll bet you five dollars you can’t. It’s too wiggly and limp to put back in that little hole.” The little boy runs into the house and comes back out with a can of hair spray. He sprays…
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The Lord spoke to Noah and said, “Noah, in six months I am going to make it rain until the whole world is covered with water and all the evil things are destroyed. But, I want to save a few good people and two of every living thing on the planet. I am ordering you to build an ark.” And, in a flash of lightning, he delivered the specifications for the ark. “OK,” Noah said, trembling with fear and fumbling…
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You might be a reneck if… -You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’oeuvre. -You’ve ever spraypainted your girlfriend’s name on an overpass. -You’ve ever Christmas shopped at a truck stop. -You think heaven looks alot like Daytona, Florida. -You truly think God looks like Hank Williams Jr. -You go to a stockcar race and don’t nead a program. -Someone asks to see your I.D. and you show em your belt buckle. -Directions to your house include…
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All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. “I should be in charge”, said the brain, “because I run all the body’s systems, so without me nothing would happen”. “I should be in charge”, said the blood, “because I circulate oxygen all over, so without me you’d all waste away”. “I should be in charge”, said the stomach, “because I process food and give all of you energy”. “I should be…
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Vice President Gore and the Clintons are flying on Air Force One. Bill looks at Al, chuckles and says, “You know, I could throw a $100.00 bill out the window right now and make someone very happy.” Al shrugs his stiff shoulders and says, “Well, I could throw ten $10.00 bills out the window and make 10 people very happy.” Hillary tosses her perfectly coifed hair and says, “Of course, then, I could throw one hundred $1.00 bills out the…
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I’ve learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes. I’ve learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only suspicion, not proof, to destroy it. I’ve learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you’d better have a big dick or huge tits. I’ve…
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During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids. You are related to more than half the town. You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance. Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do. Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic. You don’t buy all your vegetables at the grocery store. You don’t put too much effort into hairstyles due…
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“EVERYTHING COMES IN THREES” Not true. In reality, everything comes in ones. Sometimes, when three “ones” come in a row, it seems like everything comes in threes. By the way, in medieval times it was widely believed that everything came in twenty-sixes. They were wrong, too. It just took them longer to recognize the pattern. “YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU (When you die)” Well….., that depends on what it is. If it’s your dark blue suit, you can certainly…
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