Hey man Jokes - page 35

50th Anniversary Renactment

An elderly couple are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary in the country restaurant where they had their first date. They reminisce about that first night and remember how they’d snuck out of the restaurant to the yard, she’d bent over the back fence and he’d taken her passionately from behind. They decide to reenact that first act of love. Another diner has overheard this conversation and, incredulous, follows them out to the backyard. Sure enough, the old lady removes her…

(0)
Loading...

Read Joke50th Anniversary Renactment

Cartoon Laws

Cartoon Law I. Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquizing flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 32 feet per second^2 takes over. Cartoon Law II. Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCartoon Laws

Truth about Snow White

Researchers have finally figured out the truth about Snow White after many years of study, and came to the conclusion that she was a prostitute and the seven dwarfs were just little midget pimps. Why else would they go around singing “Hi-ho, Hi-ho, it’s off to work we go” all the time?

(2)Loading...

Read JokeTruth about Snow White

Lumberjack Applicant

A large, well established, Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny little man showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the head lumberjacks’ door. The head lumberjack took one look at the little man and told him to leave. “Just give me a chance to show you what I can do,” said the skinny man. “Okay, see that giant redwood over there?” said the lumberjack.…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeLumberjack Applicant

Time with Both

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, “I like both.” “Both?” said the artist. Engineer: “Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress,they will each assume…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeTime with Both

Car Crash Incident

One poor old fellow is driving along one day and has a really bad car accident… he wakes up in hospital and can only see out of one eye… the doctor looks at him and say “I’m sorry, but we had to replace one of your eyes… with a rounded piece of rimu tree” So when he gets out of hospital his mate comes round and tries to cheer him up by taking him to the bar. When they get…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCar Crash Incident

The young comic

Back in the early 60’s, a young fellow walked into a talent agent’s office and said he wanted to break into show-biz. The agent said, “O.K. kid, show me what you can do.” The kid told some jokes, did a little soft shoe, sang a bit, did an acrobatic act with an ottoman and was good enough to impress the agent. “Great kid! Just great!” said the agent. “I can do things for you! I think I can get you…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeThe young comic

Women are from Venus?

Remember the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus? Well, here is a prime example offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University, English 44A, SMU, Creative Writing, Prof. Miller. __________________________________ In-class Assignment for Wednesday: Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then write the first paragraph of a…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeWomen are from Venus?

He’s the boss, of course….

There were three guys talking in a pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet. After a while, one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over your wife?” The third fellow says, “I’ll tell you. Just the other night my wife came to me on her hands and knees.” The first two…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeHe’s the boss, of course….

Dogs and Men

HOW DOGS AND MEN ARE THE SAME 1. Both take up too much space on the bed. 2. Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaning. 3. Both mark their territory. 4. Neither tells you what’s bothering them. 5. The smaller ones tend to be more nervous. 6. Neither does any dishes. 7. Both fart shamelessly. 8. Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut. 9. Both like dominance games. 10. Both are suspicious of the postman. 11. Neither…

(1)Loading...

Read JokeDogs and Men