Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy walks into a bar and sits next to another guy. The bartender asks him if he wants their extra-special drink. The man replies, “What’s so special about it?” The bartender says, “It can make you fly.” “No way! There’s no chance in hell anyone could ever fly,” he stubbornly replies. “I’ll show you. Here, this man next to you will take a drink of this, and will fly off a cliff and come back up unharmed.” “OK, show…
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Unbelievable, but these are from a book called “Disorder in the Court.” These are things people actually said in court, word for word: Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. ————————————————— Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ————————————————— Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your…
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A little boy was dressed up for Halloween as a pirate. When he knocked on the door, a man came holding candy. The little boy said with a lisp, “I’m a piwate, can you tell, can you tell?” The man said, “Yes, but where are your buccaneers?” The boy replied, “They’re on my buckin’ head, open your buckin’ eyes!”
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Twas the night before Christmas, and God it was neat. The kids were both gone, and my wife was in heat. The doors were all bolted, and the phone off the hook, It was time for some nooky, by hook or by crook. Momma in her teddy, and I in the nude, Had just hit the bedroom and reached for the lube. When out on the lawn there arose such a cry, That I lost my boner and momma went…
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The first-grade teacher was showing pictures of animals to her students to see how many they could name. She held up a picture of a lamb, and a little girl said, “That’s a sheep!” “That’s right!” said the teacher. “How about THIS one?” she said, holding up a picture of the king of beasts. “That’s a lion!” answered a little boy. “Right!” said the teacher. Then she held up a picture of a deer. No one volunteered an answer. She…
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A man walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes. “How do they feel?” asks the sales clerk. “Well . . . they feel a bit tight,” replies the man. The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and the man’s feet. “Try pulling the tongue out,” offers the clerk. “Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth, he says.
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Frank has been feeling poorly lately…depressed, stressed, nervous, argumentative. His wife Estelle, who is by now pretty stressed out herself, finally persuades him to make an appointment with their family doctor, to which she accompanies him. After the physical, while Frank is getting dressed again in the examination room, the doctor takes Estelle into his office. “Mrs. Johnson,” says the doctor, “I’m afraid Frank’s stress has affected his heart and blood pressure. I think we have to be prepared to…
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Dakota tribal wisdom says that when you discover you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. However, in business we often try other strategies with dead horses, including the following: 1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. Changing riders. 3. Say things like, “This is the way we have always ridden this horse.” 4. Appointing a committee to study the horse. 5. Arranging to visit other sites to see how they ride dead horses. 6. Increasing the…
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A down-hearted man in a greasy spoon diner asks the waitress for a meatloaf dinner and some kind words. She brings the meatloaf, but doesn’t say a thing. “Hey,” he says, “what about the kind words?’ She replies, “Don’t eat the meatloaf.”
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I proudly announced to my family, “Hey! Guess what? I’ve lost FIVE POUNDS!” My old man looked at me with an unbelieving look on his face and said, “Oh? Can you prove it?” I happily responded, “Sure! It should STILL be floating in the toilet!”
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