Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A German tourist walks into a McDonald’s in New York City and orders a beer. The local guy in the line behind him immediately gives him a verbal jab, “They don’t serve beer here!” The German fellow felt embarrassed, however he turned to the New Yorker with a surprised look on his face and begins to chuckle. “And what’s so funny?” the New Yorker demands. “Oh, nothing really, I just realized how dumb you are. You came here for the…
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Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem. Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem. Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll. Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as though thou are transparent. Thou shalt not projectile vomit from the top of the refrigerator. Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy…
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“How to Keep the Wackiness Alive in the Modern Workplace, Part I” ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Put a chair facing a printer, sit there all day and tell people you’re waiting for your document. Arrive at a meeting late, say you’re sorry, but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’re going to be nibbling during he meeting. During the meeting, eat 5 entire raw potatoes. Insist that your e-mail address be “[email protected]” Every time someone asks you to do something, ask him/her…
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A couple return from their honeymoon, and it’s obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom’s best man takes him aside and asks what is wrong. “Well,” replied the man, “when we had finished making love on the first night, I got up to go to the bathroom, and I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking.” “Oh, I shouldn’t worry about that too much,” said his friend. I’m sure your wife will…
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A man needs to get an artificial eye due to a work injury. The eye doctor shows him a glass eye and a wooden eye. He can only afford the wooden eye so he buys it. He is embarassed to have a wooden eye and doesn’t socialize. He hears of a handicap dance and desides that he would risk going, thinking that no one would make fun of him at the dance since they have disabilities too. When he gets…
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Bill Holbrook, the janitor at the wealthiest church in town, ordered some cleaning supplies from the hardware store. When they arrived, the driver asked Bill to sign for them. Bill went into the pastor’s office and asked the pastor to sign for them. Puzzled, the pastor told Bill to sign for them. “I can’t,” said Bill. “I can’t read or write.” “Well,” replied the pastor, “I’m going to have to let you go, Bill. I’m sorry but we can’t have…
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If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? Why do women wear evening gowns to nightclubs? Shouldn’t they be wearing night gowns? If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? When someone says, “A penny for your thoughts,” and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny? Why is the man who invests all your money called a “broker”? Are you “broker” after doing business with him? Why do croutons come in airtight packages?…
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Don’t squat with your spurs on. Don’t interfere with something that ain’t botherin’ you none. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a raindance. The easiest way to eat crow is while it’s still warm. The colder it gets, the harder it is t’ swaller. Iffin you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’. Iffin it don’t seem like it’s worth the effort, it probably ain’t. It don’t take no genius…
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A Post Office worker at the main sorting office finds an unstamped, poorly hand-written envelope addressed to God. He opens it and discovers it is from an elderly lady, distressed because some thief robbed her of 100 dollars. She will be cold and hungry for the rest of the month if she doesn’t receive some divine intervention. The worker organizes a collection amongst the other postal workers, who dig deep and come up with 96 dollars. They get it to…
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Two women were chatting at the local rodeo when they noticed a man strut by . . . shirtless and wearing tight cut-off shorts. “He must think,” the first woman said, shaking her head, “that he is God’s gift to women.” The second one laughed and said, “I hope he kept the receipt.”
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