Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An old codger goes to visit his doctor about painful peeing. His wife goes with him because the poor old bloke is hard of hearing. After an examination the Doctor says to the old man, “Right, I’ll need you to leave a urine, semen and feces samples for analysis.” The old man didn’t quite hear the Doctor and asks his wife, “What did the Doctor say?” The wife replies, “He wants you to leave your underpants here, dear.”
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Manager, interviewing a job applicant: “For a man with no experience, you are certainly asking for a high wage.” Job Applicant: “Well Sir, the work is so much harder when you don’t know what you’re doing!”
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Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of that year’s incoming freshmen. Here’s this year’s list: **************************************** 1. The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1980. 2. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and did not know he had ever been shot. 3. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.…
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A man returns home from work early and enters the house through the kitchen door. He sees his wife on her hands and knees scrubbing the floor. She only has an apron on so the husband gets a big hard on, drops his pants and starts humping his wife doggy style. When he is finished, he pulls out and at the same time hits her hard up the side of her head. “What was that for?” the wife screamed “Here…
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Baby Photographer The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here soon.” Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. “Good morning madam. You don’t know me but I’ve come to….” “Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting…
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Day 1. Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Wussy. Day 2. Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He’s impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn’t he tell me something I don’t know! I mean, gimme a break. He’s been dysfunctional for so long that he…
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Dear Sir, My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells, Iowa, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want to go into the “not raising hogs” business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with…
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A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done. The monsignor replied, “When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip.” So next Sunday he took the monsignor’s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He…
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On day a man was walking on the beach when he came upon a brass lamp. “I wonder if this is a magic lamp,” he said to himself and began to rub the lamp furiously. A cloud of smoke rose out and a Genie was standing before him. “Three Wishes are yours,” the Genie said “but whatever you wish for your mother-in-law gets double” The man thought long and hard. The last thing he wanted to do was give his…
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A new priest saying mass for the first time was so nervous that he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the Monsignor how he had done. The Monsignor told him that he appeared nervous but that he had some advice for him. He told the new priest that he always puts a glass of vodka next to the water glass. ?If I get nervous I drink from that glass? the Monsignor told the priest. The following Sunday the priest…
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