Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Matt And Lennie’s Do’s and Don’t Do’s… For making friends: DO – Show off your talents. DON’T – Shove a harmonica up your butt and play the national anthem. DO – Tell them about your interest in arts and film. DON’T – Tell them about your vast child porn collection. DO – Share your ideas. DON’T – Share your plan to pull down their pants in public and set their face on fire. DO – Help them with their problems.…
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OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out names and addresses of people you don’t know. WHEN reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists. A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity. BUS DRIVERS: Pretend you’re an airline pilot, by…
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How do you confuse a blonde boy? You put him in a circular room and tell him to pee in the corner. Why do blondes wear underwear? To keep their ankles warm. Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies? Because the sign said, “Seventeen and under not admitted.” What do you call a blonde holding a dollar over her head All you can eat under a buck A dumb blonde and a smart blonde jump off of a roof.…
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Q. Should I have a baby after 35? A. No, you’ve done more than your share with 35 children. Q. I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move? A. With any luck, right after he finishes college. Q. What is the most common pregnancy craving? A. For men to be the ones who get pregnant. Q. My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational. A. So what’s your question? Q. When is…
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The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard at low pay for long hours. The blacksmith immediately began his instructions to the lad, “When I take the shoe out of the fire, I’ll lay it on the anvil; when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer.” The apprentice did just as he was told. Now HE’s the village blacksmith!
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A bus, whose doors are open all the time was riding through town. In comes an old woman, and as she find herself a seat, she suddenly felt the urge to pee. Unfortunately, her stop is still far away, so she decided to pee out of the bus’s door when no one is looking. As the bus rides, she went to the most back door, lifted her skirt and peed. Unfortunately though, some of her pee landed in a young…
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An old codger goes to visit his doctor about painful peeing. His wife goes with him because the poor old bloke is hard of hearing. After an examination the Doctor says to the old man, “Right, I’ll need you to leave a urine, semen and feces samples for analysis.” The old man didn’t quite hear the Doctor and asks his wife, “What did the Doctor say?” The wife replies, “He wants you to leave your underpants here, dear.”
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Q. What do you call a turtle with a hard on? A. A slow poke.
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The young dude in the Old West wanted to be the fastest gunfighter alive. Sitting in a saloon one night, he spotted an old graybeard who had the reputation of having been the greatest gunslinger of his day. The kid sidled up to the old man and told him of his dream. The ancient legend looked him up and down and said, “I got a suggestion that’s sure to help.” “Tell me, tell me!” said the newbie. “Tie the bottom…
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A computer was something on TV From a science fiction show of note A window was something you hated to clean And ram was the cousin of a goat. Meg was the name of my girlfriend And gig was a job for the nights Now they all mean different things And that really mega bytes. An application was for employment A program was a TV show A cursor used profanity A keyboard was a piano. Memory was something that you…
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