Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During dinner He told them: “I need three important people to send my message out to all people: Tomorrow I will destroy the earth.” Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them: “I have two really bad news items for you: 1) God really exists and 2) Tomorrow He will destroy the earth.” Clinton called an emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them: “I…
(1)
Loading...
One day at the carp fair there was a shovel throwing competition. The first contestant gets up and throws the shovel 100 yards. The shovel throwing judge says,” Wow what a toss, that was better than anyone at the last fair, do you mind if I ask what you do for a living?” The guy says,” My grandfather was a farmer, my daddy’s a farmer and I’m a farmer; we shovel shit all day long, I guess I just got…
(2)Loading...
X-FILE CASE #1224 ================ 57 ELM STREET BETHLEHEM, PA. 11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH Mulder: Scully! We’re too late! It’s already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you’re doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. Scully: You really think someone’s been here? Mulder: Someone … or something. Scully: Mulder, over here — it’s a fruitcake.…
(0)Loading...
A financial magnate was on his death bed. He was under an Oxygen tent. At his side stood his loyal subordinate, tears streaming down his face. “Do not grieve,” whispered the expiring tycoon, with considerable effort. “I want you to know that I appreciate your faithful services to me over the years. I am leaving you my money, my plane, my estates, my yacht… everything I have.” “Thank you sir” cried the subordinate. “You have always been so good to…
(0)Loading...
Seven-year-old little Johnny, like other boys his age, are rather curious. He had been hearing quite a bit about courting from the other boys, and he wondered just what it was all about. One day he asked his mother, and she became quite flustered. Instead of explaining things to Johnny, she told him to hide behind the curtains later that night and watch his older sister and her boyfriend. So he did this, and the next morning he gave this…
(27)Loading...
Q: How many Deadheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. They just follow it around for 30 years thinking it’s still lit. Q: How many stoners does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 20. One to hold the bulb, and 19 to huff until the room spins. Q: How many stoners does it take to tell a good joke? A: Um… I forgot
(0)Loading...
An 85-year-old couple, after being happily married for almost 60 years, died together in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to the wife’s interest in health food and proper diet. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their luxury mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bedroom suite and a fancy in-house jacuzzi. The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was…
(0)Loading...
I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and could I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on me! I couldn’t believe that anyone could be that rude. I tracked down Robin’s correct number and called her. She had transposed the last two digits. After I hung…
(4)Loading...
The 12 Days Of A Cajun Christmas Day 1: Dear Boudreaux, Thanks for de bird in de Pear tree. I fix it las’ night with dirty rice. I doan tink de pear tree will grow in de swamp, so I swap it for a Satsuma. Day 2: Dear Boudreaux, You letter say you sent two turtle doves, but all I got was two scrawny pigeons. Anyway, I mixed dem with andouille an made some gumbo out of dem. Day 3:…
(1)Loading...
An old couple decided to go to the same hotel they went to on their honeymoon for their 50th Anniversary. The husband is sitting in bed when his wife takes off her clothes at the foot of the bed and says, “Do you remember what you were thinking when you first saw me naked 50 years ago?” “Yes,” said the husband, “I was thinking that I was going to fuck your brains out and suck your tits dry.” “And what…
(1)Loading...