Goo Jokes - page 75

Clinton’s Pigs

Bill Clinton bought two pigs for Hillary, and Chelsie, while in Dallas. when he was gettin on Air Force One, A Secret Service agent said, “Mighty fine pigs you got there Mr. President.” “Thanks. This one’s for Hillary (refering to the one on the right),And this one’s for Chelsie.” (refering to the one on the left) The Secret Service agent smiled and said, “Good Trade.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeClinton’s Pigs

WHO SAID THAT?

It was a warm Friday afternoon toward the end of the school year when Miss Adams said to her third-grade class “Give me your attentions, girls and boys. I’m going to write some quotations on the board and the first person who can tell me who said each one may leave early today.” She wrote “Give me liberty or give…” Before she could finish the phrase, little Tiffany shouted “Patrick Henry”. “Very good, Tiffany”, smiled Miss Adams. “You may leave.”…

(2)Loading...

Read JokeWHO SAID THAT?

Cost of a Sermon

One beautiful Sunday morning, a priest announced to his congregation: “My good people, I have here in my hands three sermons…a $100 sermon that lasts five minutes, a $50 sermon that lasts fifteen minutes, and a $10 sermon that lasts a full hour.” “Now, we’ll take the collection and see which one I’ll deliver today.”

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeCost of a Sermon

Funny You Should Ask….

U.S. poet Louis Uttermeyer once returned his speaker’s fee to a small and impoverished group, enjoining them to put the money to good use. A little later, happening to inquire what good use they had found for the money, he was told that they had put it into a fund to get better speakers next year.

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeFunny You Should Ask….

Clinton’s trip to Africa

President Clinton was being entertained by an African leader. They’d spent the day discussing what the country had received from the Russians before the new government kicked them out. “The Russians built us a power plant, a highway, and an airport. Plus we learned to drink vodka and play Russian roulette.” President Clinton frowned. “Russian roulette’s not a very friendly game.” The African leader smiled. “That’s why we developed African roulette. If you want to have good relations with our…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeClinton’s trip to Africa

6 pack

A construction worker fell to his death from a 12 story building. Two of his co workers were debating over who would tell the guy’s wife.John, a third co worker, volunteered his services, because he said he was really good at giving bad news. The two other workers saw John returning with a 6 pack from their dead friends house. the first worker asked John if he told the wife of the dead worker, he replied “yes, of course”, and…

(0)
Loading...

Read Joke6 pack

Seeing Eye Dogs

There’s a guy with a Doberman Pinscher and a guy with a Chihuahua. The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says to the guy with a Chihuahua, “Let’s go over to that restaurant and get something to eat.” The guy with the Chihuahua says, “We can’t go in there. We’ve got dogs with us.” The guy with the Doberman Pinscher says, “Just follow my lead.” They walk over to the restaurant, the guy with the Doberman Pinscher puts on a pair…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeSeeing Eye Dogs

Computer Camp

Dear Jenny, Ann Landers wouldn’t print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain. It’s about my son, Billy. He’s always been a good, normal ten-year-old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire,…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeComputer Camp

Vomit on the Shirt

A gentleman spent several hours after work one evening drinking excessively. After gulping down a triple shot of bourbon, he began to feel extremely nauseous. He made a run to the men’s room, but he vomited all over his shirt before he could reach the toilet. “Oh, for the Love of God! My wife is gonna kill me!! I’m not supposed to be out drinking at all and here I am, with alcohol stinking vomit all over my shirt!!” “Not…

(0)
Loading...

Read JokeVomit on the Shirt