Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
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Mr Starr: I am Starr. Starr I are. I’m a brilliant barri-star. I’m here to ask, as you’ll soon see, Did you grope Miss Lew-in-sky? Did you grope her in your house? Did you grope beneath her blouse? Did she give you gifts and ties? Were you spied by prying eyes? Mr Clinton: I did not do that here or there! I did not do that anywhere! I did not do that in a chair! I went not near her…
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Karen and Ken, a couple in their mid-fifties, had finally decided to tie the knot. Karen and her girlfriend, Sarah, were discussing the upcoming wedding plans. After describing her beautiful wedding dress, Sarah asked Karen what color her shoes would be. Karen replied, “I thought Silver would be nice.” Ken, the eavesdropping fiancee, had to get his two cents in by retorting, “Yes. Silver will be very nice…it will match your hair!” Sarah, not missing a beat, shot a look…
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A little girl goes to the barber shop to get her hair cut. As the barber is cutting her hair she is eating a twinkie. The barber says, “Hey little girl, you are getting hair all over your twinkie.” She then replies, “Ya I know, I’m growing boobies also.”
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Things you shouldn’t say to a cop Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in. And that hooker I met at the AIDS clinic said you were a nice guy. Hey, you must’ve been doin’ about 125mph to keep up with me! Good job! That uniform makes your ass look really big. Excuse me. Is “stick up” hyphenated? I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a Police Officer. You don’t happen…
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An elderly gentleman came home one night to find a homeless girl of about eighteen ransacking the place. He grabbed her by the arm and was just about to call the police, when the girl dropped down on her knees and pleaded, “Please don’t call the police, Mister. Oh, please!!! If you don’t, I’ll let you make love to me and do whatever you want with my body!” The old man thought for a moment and decided to give in.…
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If foreign films are so good, how come they don’t make them in this country? Definition of an optimist: an accordian player with a beeper. Old age is when you tell a friend you’re having an affair and he says, “That’s wonderful! Who’s the caterer?” Part of the trouble with doing nothing in life is that you never know when you’re through. Tractor pulls were invented so professional wrestling fans would have someone to look down on. Opieology: a religion…
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01. You can name everyone with whom you graduated. 02. You know what 4-H is, and WHY. 03. You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a dirt road. 04. You used to drag “main.” 05. You said the “F” word and your parents knew, within the hour. 06. You scheduled parties around the schedule of different police officers, since you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn’t — same goes…
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A drunk staggers into a bar demanding a beer. The bartender informs him that he is not allowed to serve alcohol to drunken patrons. After a few harsh words, the bartender tells the drunk the he can prove he isn’t drunk by doing twenty push-ups on the floor. As he is doing the push-ups, another drunk staggers into the bar and sees this guy doing his push-ups. He looks at him for a minute and then kicks him in the…
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Mr. Harris had a new secretary who was such a pretty young thing and so eager to please that he decided to “work late” and to take her to dinner tonight. So he called up his wife to tell her he would be late and she replied, “No problem.” So Mr. Harris treated his secretary to dinner at a fancy restaurant where they had one drink too many. After dinner with her, it was obvious that Mr. Harris would get…
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