Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches. “Can I help you, Sir?” “Yesssh! Ssssshomebody ssshtole my car!” the man replies. The cop asks, “Where was the car the last time you saw it?” “It wassss at the end of thissss key!” the man answers. About that time, the officer looks down and sees that the man’s “thing” is hanging out of…
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Q: What’s the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? A: One says “Hey, you, get off of my cloud.” The other says, “Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe.” Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with…. the other is used to carry groceries. Q: How do you recycle toilet paper? A: Hang it on the wall and bash the…
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Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in…
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Eight Rules to Follow when Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule…
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A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labor is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. “I’m afraid I don’t have a husband,” she replies. “OK, do you have a boyfriend?” asks the Midwife. “No, no boyfriend either.” “Do you have a partner then?” “No, I’m unattached; I’ll be having my baby on my own.” After the birth, the midwife again speaks to the young woman. “You have…
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Top 25 Things A Wife Will Not Say: 1. I’ll swallow it all……..I love the taste. 2. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink? 3. I’m bored. Let’s shave my pussy. 4. Shouldn’t you be down at the bar with your buddies? 5. That was a great fart! Do another one! 6. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house. 7. You’re so sexy when your hungover. 8. I’d rather watch football and drink beer with you than…
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A very shy man is with all his college buddies in a bar one day, and he notices a very attractive girl sitting by herself. After gathering enough courage, he finally gets up and asks her if he chould buy her a drink, whereby she screams, “NO, I WILL NOT SLEEP WITH YOU TONIGHT!” The man, after being humiliated goes back to his buddies and sits down. Ten minutes later, the woman comes over to him and apologizes to him…
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X-FILE CASE #1224 ================ 57 ELM STREET BETHLEHEM, PA. 11:51 P.M., DECEMBER 24TH Mulder: Scully! We’re too late! It’s already been here. Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you’re doing. Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into a shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care. Scully: You really think someone’s been here? Mulder: Someone … or something. Scully: Mulder, over here — it’s a fruitcake.…
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There once was this little boy named Freddy Fucker Faster who had this enormous crush on this little girl named Betty P. One day, Freddy and Betty went to the barn loft and started “getting their groove on.” At suppertime, Freddy’s mom yells for him. She stands on the porch steps and yells, “Freddy Fucker Faster, Freddy Fucker Faster.” Freddy hears his mom and in return says, “I can’t, I’m fuckin’ fast enough.” Then, Betty P’s mom yells for her…
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Why is it that Santa Clause cheats on Mrs. Clause? He lays Barbie under every little girls tree.
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