Gent Jokes - page 10

White house protest

One day, while President Clinton was at “work” in the oval office, a secret service agent comes in and says, “Mister Clinton , I’ve got bad news, good news, and worse news. The bad news is there is a protest outside for your resignation as president, the good news is there’s only one protester.” Clinton replies, “So what’s the really bad news?” The agent says, “It’s Gore sir.”

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Drifting Off in Class

Sometimes, when I’m in class, I dream that I’m on a tropical island, with a dozen or more scantily clad females beside me, sitting under a huge palm tree, with some soft, gentle music being played on some traditional wood instruments of that region, and a cool, gentle breeze caressing my tanned body. I do all this while trying to forget I’m in a classroom. Of course, it would be so much easier if all my students weren’t waiting for…

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Perfect Woman … Almost

An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With that as his mission, he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent, but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west. Shortly thereafter, he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer, asking for permission…

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That’s a Cow?

On his first date with a woman who wasn’t overly intelligent, Ogden decided to take her to the county fair. While walking around and looking at all the festivities, they came to the area where they auction livestock. Ogen’s date walked up to one of the pens and asked, “Ogden, why doesn’t this cow have horns?” “Well,” replied Ogden, ” sometimes cows don’t get horns until they are 7 or 8 years old. And sometimes, cows don’t get horns until…

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Healing Power

One Sunday, a preacher was teaching his sermon. It was on “Healing”. At the end of the sermon, he asked the congregation if anyone needed to be healed today. A man came up, and the preacher asked him for his name. “J-J-Jon,” he replied. The preacher asked him what his problem was. “I…I…I…w-w-w-well…I-I…stu-stu-stu….I…st-stutter…a-a-lot.” “Okay,” the preacher said, “you just go over there behind that screen and we’ll pray for you in just a second.” The preacher turned to the congregation,…

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King Arthur & the Old Witch

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by Arthur?s youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed. The question was: What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the…

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The Top 14 Unpublished Beatles Songs

14. Got to Get You Off of My Wife 13. She Came In Through John’s Fragile Ego 12. She’s a Woman (Who Was a Man) 11. Can’t Buy Me Love (But Can Rent It by the Hour for 300 Big Ones) 10. Polyurethane Pam Anderson 9. Crackbird 8. Lucy In The Sky With Linus 7. Eleanor Furby 6. All You Need is Drugs 5. Nor-Region Woody 4. She Came in Through the White House Window 3. While My Guitar Gently…

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A Woman’s Prayer

Dear Lord: So far today, I am doing alright. I have not gossiped, lost my temper, been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish or self indulgent. I have not whined, bitched, cursed, or eaten any chocolate. I have not charged on my credit card. However, I am going to get out of bed in a few minutes and I will need a lot more help after that.

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Mirror, mirror

One day a gentleman and his wife were shopping in an antiques store when she happened across an old, sadly-tarnished mirror. He was indifferent to the pending purchase, and as the woman haggled over price with the attendant, the history of the mirror was revealed. The attendant stated that this was a magic mirror and any wish which was cast upon it would come true. The only stipulation was that the wish must be asked in the form of a…

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