Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Little Johnny walked into a grocery store and selected a large box of laundry detergent and took it to the counter. The clerk said, “You must have a large load of clothes to wash.” “Oh no,” said Johnny, “I’m going to give my dog a bath.” “I don’t think that is the right soap to use to bathe your dog,” said the clerk. “It’ll do,” said Johnny, as he paid the clerk and walked out. A few days later Johnny…
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A tourist guide brought a group of tourists from the MidWest to the New York City zoo. Stopping in front of the elephant’s enclosure, the tourist guide began his lecture, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is the elephant – the largest animal to roam the land. Everyday, the elephant eats 3 dozen bunches of banana, 6 tons of hay and 2000 pounds of assorted fruits…” Seeing a woman tourist getting near an elephant, the tourist guide warned, “Madam, please don’t stand…
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A Cowboy enters a restaurant in Dallas and while sitting at his table, notices a gorgeous woman sitting at another table, alone. He calls the waiter over and asks for the most expensive bottle of champagne to be sent over to her — knowing that if she accepts it, she is his. The waiter gets the bottle and quickly sends it over to the girl, saying this is from the gentleman. She looks at the champagne and decides to send…
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How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb? ARIES: Just one. You want to make something of it? TAURUS: One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away. GEMINI: Two, but the job never gets done -they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it’s supposed to be done! CANCER: Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help…
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ARTIFICIAL INSEMINATION: Procreation without recreation. BOOKCASE: A piece of furniture used in America to house bowling trophies and Elvis collectibles. BULIMIA: Retched excess. CHIC: Considered smart without the deadening implication of intelligence. CLIQUE: A group of insiders who greet outsiders with their backsides; a closed circle of asses. CONSULTANT: A jobless person who shows executives how to work. DENTURES: Two rows of artificial ivories that may be removed periodically to frighten one’s grandchildren or provide accompaniment to Spanish music. DNA:…
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A beautiful young woman, looking quite disheveled, got onto a crowded bus. There was only standing room and she settled on a hang-strap in front of a young man facing her. As the bus started to move, the young woman looked down at the young man and said “Excuse me, sir, I’m pregnant. Would you mind letting me sit down?” “Of course not” said the young gentleman, jumping up. “Please have a seat.” She was so pretty and had such…
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A Jewish gentleman stood before a delicatessen display counter and pointed to a tray. “I’ll have a pound of that salmon,” he said. “That’s not salmon,” the clerk said. “It’s ham.” “Mister,” the customer snapped, “in case nobody ever told you, you got a big mouth!”
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There’s a new drug out for men that promises to grow hair..only problem is that it does have an unfortunate side effect…reduced libido.. So let’s see..Men take this drug to make themselves more attractive to chicks… They are faced with the age old problem..grow hair and be LIMPY..or remain bald and never be SHRIMPY… It boils down to a simple fact..Gentlemen…It’s HEADS or TAILS !!
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