Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Oscar Wilde was a poseur and what he said was never necessarily true. However, he was visiting at a friend’s summer house and one morning he did not show up till it was nearly lunchtime. His friend said, “What have you been doing all morning, Oscar?” “Working,” said Wilde. “Accomplish anything?” “Oh, yes, I inserted a comma in a poem I’m writing.” He then disappeared all afternoon. When he showed up for dinner, his friend said, “More work?” “Yes,” said…
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Believe Them…Or Not AUGUSTA, ME – Four people were injured in a string of bizarre accidents. Sherry Moeller was admitted with a head wound caused by flying masonry, Tim Vegas was diagnosed with a mild case of whiplash and contusions on his chest, arms and face, Bryan Corcoran suffered torn gum tissue, and Pamela Klesick’s first two fingers of her right hand had been bitten off. Moeller had just dropped her husband off for his first day of work and,…
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Colorful descriptions for the intellectually challenged: A few fries short of a happy meal. The wheel is spinning but the hamster is dead. Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with the instructions on the heel. Fell out of the stupid tree and hit all of the branches on the way down. A few clowns short of a circus. A few beers short of a six-pack. A few peas short of a pod. Doesn’t have all his corn flakes in…
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“I don’t want nations feeling like that they can bully ourselves and our allies. I want to have a ballistic defense system so that we can make the world more peaceful, and at the same time I want to reduce our own nuclear capacities to the level commiserate with keeping the peace.” ?Des Moines, Iowa, Oct. 23, 2000 “Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream.”?LaCrosse, Wis., Oct. 18, 2000 “If I’m the president, we’re going to…
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Man approaches his buddy, who is looking awfully down: “Hey, Jim,” he says. “Why are you so depressed?” “Well,” Jim says, “about two months ago, my aunt passed away and left me $10,000.” “Aw, that’s too bad, Jim,” his friend replied. “Then last month, my father passed away and left me $20,000.” “Jeez, two deaths in two months? That’s terrible!” “And this month… nothing.”
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“Your life is not my fault.” “The handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them awhile.” “Take you hands off the car, and I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document.” “Remember, when you gotta cuff ’em… nobody is your friend.” “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.” “That says POLICE, not taxi!” “Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second?” “So you don’t know how fast you were going. I guess…
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1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time. 3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor. 4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment. 5. You should never say…
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English in Non-English Speaking Countries! Examples of how English is being used in different parts of the world: In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In…
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My girlfriend of about 3 years says she cant sleep with me because she’s a man. Yeah right like I havent heard that one before. Although it would explain those armpits. I always just thought she was russian.
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Eight Rules to Follow when Dating My Daughter Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure as heck not picking anything up. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them. Rule…
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