Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he’d finally managed an affair with the innkeeper’s daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! “Helen, why didn’t you write when you learned you were pregnant?” he cried. “I would have rushed up here, we could have…
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An incompentent counterfeiter spent all day making his funny money. At the end of the day he realizes he spent all his time making $15 bills. He figures that the only way he’s going to get anything from this batch of money, is to find a place where the people aren’t too bright and change his phoney money for real cash. He travels to a small town in West Virginia and walks into a small Mom and Pop grocery store.…
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Men are a misunderstood lot, which all in all is probably for the best. Women are better off not knowing that we eat with our hands the minute they leave the room or that we use their nail clippers to trim our nose hair. Better for them, better for us. Still, it’s annoying that women spend more time and money trying to understand the minds of cats than they do, wondering about what makes men tick. Which is why they’ll…
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“Everyday some new do gooder is trying to save us from ourselves. We have so many laws and safety commissions to ensure our safety that it seems nearly impossible to have an accident. The problem is, we need accidents, and LOTS of them. Danger is natures way of eliminating stupid people. Without safety, stupid people die in accidents! With safety, however well-intentioned it may be, we are, devolving into half-witted mutants because idiots, who by all rights should be dead,…
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It was the first day of Grade Three in a new town for Dave. As a test, his teacher went around the room and asked each of the students to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30 or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn’t get past 20. Dave, however, did extremely well; he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any mistakes. He was so excited that he ran home ahd told…
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Dear Sir, My friend, Ed Peterson, over at Wells, Iowa, received a check for $1,000 from the government for not raising hogs. So I want to go into the “not raising hogs” business next year. What I want to know is, in your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to raise hogs on, and what is the best breed of hogs not to raise? I want to be sure that I approach this endeavor in keeping with…
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Time, they say, waits for no man — or what’s left of his ancestors. Consider this dialogue between a museum guard and a group of tourists gaping at dinosaur bones in a natural history museum. “Can you tell us how old the dinosaur bones are?” one asks. “They are 3 million, four years and six months old,” the guard says authoritatively. “That’s an awfully exact number,” says the tourist. “How do you know their age so definitely?” “Well, the bones…
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A first grade teacher was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asks, “Johnny! What is your problem?!” Johnny says, “I’m too smart for the first grade. My sister’s in the third grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third grade!” The teacher had had enough. As a result, she took Johnny to the principal’s office and explained Johnny’s request. While Johnny waited in the outer office, the teacher explained the…
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Cupid asked his mother (the goddess of love), Aphrodite if Clinton really did cheat on his wife. It goes something like this…. “Mom, you know a lot about love, marriage, and adultury, did Bill Clinton really cheat on his wife, with Monica Lewinsky?” “Yes, but he didn’t mean to.” “That f**king a**hole!” “Hey, don’t speak about your father like that!”
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A bear & rabbit are takin’ a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, “Excuse me, but do you heve trouble with shit sticking to your fur?” The rabbit replies, “No,I don’t.” So the bear wipes his ass with the rabbit.
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