Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A young boy walked into the living room and saw his dad sitting on the couch drinking a beer. The boy asked, “Dad, can I have a beer?” The dad replied, “Well, can you touch your dick to your ass?” The boy answered, “Well, no.” “Then you can’t have one.” the dad said. The next day, the boy walked into the living room again and saw his dad sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette. The boy asked, “Dad, can…
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President Bush was looking for a call girl and he found three such ladies in a local bar: a blonde, a redhead and a brunette. To the blonde, he said, “I am the President of the United States of America. How much will it cost me to spend some time with you?” The blonde replied, “For you, Mr. President, it will cost $500.00.” To the redhead he asked the same question. She replied, “I will spend all the time you…
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So this little, tiny guy walks into his doctor’s office screaming, “Doctor! Doctor! I think I’m shrinking!!!” The doctor says, “I have to deal with this other patient first and then I’ll get to you.” The little guy screams, “But doctor!! I’m SHRINKING!!” Exasperated, the doctor says, “Well I’m sorry, you’ll just have to be a little patient!”
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Isn’t it amazing just how sophisticated computers are becoming? Just the other day, I was looking at the newest ones at COMP USA. I saw one which REALLY caught my eye. Instead of an Owner’s Manual, the operating instructions consisted of a SINGLE sheet of paper, printed on only ONE side. The sheet read, “If you have trouble operating this computer in any way, please do the following: 1. Locate the nearest 12-year-old child. 2. LISTEN to what s/he says.
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Pilot to Co-pilot: We are approaching an airport with a notoriously short runway. When I give the commands, execute them immediately! Co-pilot: Roger. Pilot: Flaps full down Co-pilot: Roger. Flaps are full down. Pilot: Air speed 180. Co-pilot: Air speed 180. Pilot: Landing gear down. Co-pilot: Landing gear is down and locked. Pilot: As soon as we touch down, I want engines in full reverse and brakes on maximum. Co-pilot: Roger. They hit the runway with engines in full reverse,…
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Two hillbillies are having the lunch special at the local diner when they hear an awful choking sound. They turn around to see a woman turning blue from wolfing down a Possumburger too fast. Jethro says to Wilbur, “Think we oughta help?” “Yep” says Wilbur, who walks over to the lady and says, “Kin you breathe?” She shakes her head no. “Kin you talk?” he asks, and again she shakes her head. With that, he grabs her ankles and flips…
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One day, Jim’s mom comes over to dinner, and was very curious about his roomate, Juli. Juli was blonde, thin, and very pretty. Then Jim said, ” Mothe, I know what you are thinking about things goin’ on between me and Juli, but there is nothing, we are just roomates.” Well his mother understood but was still curious. About two weeks lator, Juli came up to Jim and said, “Jim, ever since your mom came here, I’ve been missing my…
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Eve, in the Garden of Eden, called out to the skies, “Oh Lord, I have a problem.” And the Lord said, Whats the matter Eve?” “I know you created me and this beautful garden,” said Eve, “but I’m lonely and I’m sick of eating apples.” “Well, in that case,” replied the Almighty, “I will create a man for you.” “What’s a man?” asked Eve. “He’s a flawed creature with aggresive tendencies, an enormous ego and an inability to listen. But…
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There’s this couple that call making love “doing laundry”. One morning the husband tried despartly to wake his wife to do some laundry. She replyed by saying “honey, I am so tired let me sleep just a little while longer and than we can do laundry”. A short time later she wakes up and turns to her husband, she see’s him lying there naked. Oh Honey she said, I see that your ready to do the laundry…He looked at her…
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One day Johnny is riding his tricycle in the house. He pulls up to his brother’s room and says, “Anybody getting on the bus, get the fuck on! Anybody getting off the bus, get the fuck off! And anybody staying on, get to the fucking back!!” His brother looked at him and said, “Don’t let Mom hear you saying that or she’ll be awful mad.” So Johnny wheeled down to his sister’s room and hollered, “Anybody getting on the bus,…
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