Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to a gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at this woman and all his professionalism goes out the window. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh. As he does this he says to the woman, “Do you know what I’m doing?” “Yes,” she says, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.” “That is correct,” Say the doctor. He then begins to fondle her breasts.…
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01. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 02. Make yourself at home! Clean my kitchen. 03. Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom? 04. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 05. Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after. 06. Do I look like a fricking people person? 07. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 08. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 09.…
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An American soldier, serving in World War II, had just returned from several weeks of intense action on the Italian front lines. He had finally been granted R&R and had made it to Southampton, England, there to board a train bound for a few days in London. The train was very crowded, so the soldier walked the length of the train, looking for an empty seat. The only seat unoccupied was directly across from a well dressed middle aged lady…
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There was this party in the woods and, all of a sudden there was a downpour of rain and thunder. These two young men ran for about 10 minutes in the pouring rain, and finally reached their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking one beer after the other. All of a sudden an old man’s face appeared outside the passenger…
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A guy with a lisp walks into a nut store. The clerk is a very large man with a very, very large nose. The guy with the lisp asks how much the peanuts are. The clerk replies, “The peanuts are a $1.39.” The guy with the lisp says, “Too high, too high.” “How much are your walnuts, sir?” The clerk replies, “The walnuts are $1.49.” The guy with the lisp replies, “Too high, too high.” “I guess I’ll go to…
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How many male chauvinists does it take to change a light bulb? None. They let the bitch do it after she finishes the dishes. How many women does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just sit there in the dark and bitch. Why do men fart more than women? Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure. Why did God give men penises? So we’d always have at least one way to shut a…
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Just recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my community to be a judge at a chili cookoff because no one else wanted to do it. Also, the original person called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy,…
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Children’s books that never quite made it into circulation “You Are Different and That’s Bad” “Dad’s New Wife Timothy” “Pop! Goes The Hamster….And Other Great Microwave Games” “Testing Homemade Parachutes Using Household Pets” “The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad” “Babar Meets the Taxidermist” “Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence” “The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables” “Start a Real-Estate Empire With the Change From Your Mom’s Purse” “The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy” “Things…
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A family of three [mom, dad and a 10 year-old girl] went down to Florida to visit a nudist camp. The girl goes walking around on the beach and comes back to her mother and says, “Mommy, mommy, women down here have bigger breasts than you.” The mom replied, “That’s right honey, but the bigger they are the dumber they are.” The girl goes and walks around again. She comes back to her mom and says, “Mommy, mommy, guys down…
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After Christmas vacation, an elementary school teacher was asking her students how they celebrated Christmas. When she got to Sammy, whose father ran a local toy store, she said, “Sammy, since you’re Jewish, I guess your family didn’t celebrate Christmas.” Sammy replied, “Oh, yes we did! We all held hands and danced around the cash register singing, “What A Friend We Have In Jesus.”
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