Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Two women were attending the funeral of a friend who had been married eight times. One sighed and said, “They’re together at last.” “Which husband are you talking about?” the other asked. “None of her husbands. I mean her legs.”
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TWO MORONS BUY A COW AND TAKE IT HOME. AFTER A FEW DAYS THEY REALIZE THAT THE COW ISN’T DRINKING. THEY DECIDE TO TAKE IT DOWN TO THE RIVER AND FORCE IT TO DRINK. AFTER SEVERAL UNSUCCESSFUL ATTEMPTS, ONE MORON SAYS TO THE OTHER,”I’LL HOLD HIS HEAD IN THE WATER AND YOU SUCK ON HIS ASS”. AFTER A FEW MINUTES THE MORON AT THE HEAD YELLS BACK TO HIS FRIEND, “IS IT WORKING?”. HIS FRIEND REPLIES, “YES,BUT RAISE HIS HEAD,…
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One day, Monica Lewinsky died and went to Hell. Later that day, Clinton died and went to Hell also. He met Satan and Satan said to him, “You have three choices of eternal punishment.” He opened up the first door and there were people walking around in the flames, screaming in pain. Bill said, “I really don’t like that one much.” Satan showed him what was behind another door and there were people whose heads were chopped off and put…
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A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately demanded an inspection of their place. The farmer had tried to be nice to his new mother-in-law, hoping that it could be a friendly relationship. But, she kept nagging at them whenever she got the chance, making life unbearable to the farmer and his new bride. While they were walking through the barn, the farmer’s mule suddenly reared up and kicked the mother-in-law in the head, killing…
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The following is taken from a Florida newspaper: A man was working on his motorcycle on his patio and his wife was in the house in the kitchen. The man was racing the engine on the motorcycle and somehow, the motorcycle slipped into gear. The man, still holding the handlebars, was dragged through a glass patio door and along with the motorcycle dumped onto the floor inside the house. The wife, hearing the crash, ran into the dining room, and…
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“I’ve had it with my wife,” said one drinking buddy to the other. “I’m filing for an annulment.” “Sorry to hear that, Pal, said his partner. “May I ask why?” “I found her supply of birth control pills,” said the first. “Listen, Frank, with all due respect to your religion, I just can’t see leaving your wife for what the Church says is a sin.” “It ain’t just that,” stormed Frank. “I had a vasectomy over five years ago.”
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There once was a man named Tom who was going out with a woman named Lorraine. He thought Lorraine was THE one. They had been going out for years and he was thinking of finally proposing. Tom was also the head of a company and one day his personal secretary of many years quit because of family issues. Tom was upset but contacted an agency to find his a suitable replacement. Immediatly they found one, named Clearly, and she was…
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Two blondes were walking down the sidewalk, when one of them spots a compact lying by the curb. She opens the compact and looks at the mirror and exclaims to her friend “Hey, this girl looks familiar!” Her friend reaches over, looks in the mirror and says, “You dumb shit! It’s me!”
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1. Well, aren’t we just a ray of fucking sunshine? 2. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we? 3. A hard-on doesn’t count as personal growth. 4. Do I look like a fucking people person? 5. This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting. 6. If I want to hear the pitter-patter of little feet, I’ll put shoes on my cat. (Wait a minute, I hate cats. Change that to my dog.) 7. Did the aliens…
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Keep This near your desk at work so you can translate what is REALLY being said to you. 1) Politically Correct- saying something, without actually saying it so that anyone that hears you isn’t sure what was said nor can they repeat to anyone else to incriminate you. 2) Abrasive- the opposite of being p.c. (politically correct). 3) Heads up- I heard the rumor before you. 4) Challenged – Fucked. (example, “I want to Challenge you….) 5) Mentally Challenged- mentally…
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