Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The drill sergeant, making his morning announcements to a group of newcomers in a training camp, stated: “Today, Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news. First, the good: Private Brabant will be setting the pace on our morning run.” With this, the platoon was overjoyed, as Private Brabant was overweight and terribly slow. But then the sergeant finished his statement: “Now for the bad news: Private Brabant will be driving a truck.”
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ADULT: A person who has stopped at both ends and is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours. DUST: Mud with the juice squeezed out. EGOTIST: Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation. GOSSIP: A person who will never tell…
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There was this guy named Joe. Ever since he was born, he has always been 2nd at everything. His baby stroller was always slower than the other kids’, his tricycle was old and rusted and had wobbly wheels, his first bike was a piece of junk, his first car wouldn’t go over 35 m.p.h. So Joe resigned himself to a life of slowness, never able to win a race in his life. Until one day, when his rich uncle died…
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If foreign films are so good, how come they don’t make them in this country? Definition of an optimist: an accordian player with a beeper. Old age is when you tell a friend you’re having an affair and he says, “That’s wonderful! Who’s the caterer?” Part of the trouble with doing nothing in life is that you never know when you’re through. Tractor pulls were invented so professional wrestling fans would have someone to look down on. Opieology: a religion…
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You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft’s rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is. If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these…
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Angus Broon of Glasgow comes to the little lady of the house, exclaiming, “Maggie, cud ya be sewin’ on a wee button that’s come off of me fly? I canny button me pants.” “Oh, Angus, . . . I’ve got me hands in the dishpan right now. Go up the stairs and see if Mrs. MacDonald could be helpin’ ya with it.” About five minutes later, there’s a terrible crash, a bang, a bit of yelling and the sound of…
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Q: What do you see when you look in Monica Lewinsky’s underwear? A: A wad of Bill’s
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1.If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. 2.Learn to work the toilet seat: if it’s up, put it down. 3.Birthdays, Valentines and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present, again! 4.Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. 5.Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss the shotgun formation and monster trucks. 6.Get rid of your cat. And no, it’s not different, it’s just…
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He’d been playing golf for years, and he had the finest equipment but his technique never improved a bit. As his friend watched, he teed up at the first hole and promptly drove a brand-new ball into the woods. On the second hole he drove another new ball into a lake. On the third, he lost a new ball in another part of the woods. “Why don’t you use an old ball?” his friend asked. “I’ve never had an old…
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Q: What is the last thing Clinton says to an intern when he finishes an interview? A: Careful, don’t bump your head on the desk!
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