Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Her husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times… When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When…
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A pretty girl is driving through the West when her car runs out of gas. Along comes an Indian and gives her a ride to a gas station. Every few minutes he lets out a wild whoop that would curdle milk. Finally, he drops her off with a final “Yaaaa-Hooooo!” and gallops off. “My God!” says the gas station attendant, “What the hell were you doing to make him holler like that?” “Why, nothing,” says the girl, “I just sat…
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I will be flying tomorrow, so let’s take a look at these RULES OF THE AIRWAYS: Takeoff’s are optional. Landings are MANDATORY. Flying is not dangerous; crashing is dangerous. Speed is life, altitude is life insurance. No one has ever collided with the sky. The only time you have too much fuel is when you’re on fire. Flying is the second greatest thrill known to man. LANDING is the first! Everyone knows a “good” landing is one from which you…
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Here are some examples of WHY English is the most difficult language to learn: We polish the Polish furniture. He could lead if he would get the lead out. A farm can produce produce. The dump was so full it had to refuse refuse. The soldier decided to desert in the desert. The present is a good time to present the present. At the Army base, a bass was painted on the head of a bass drum. The dove dove…
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Not-So-Secret Male Handbook 1. Practice grunting 5 times a day. While some may find it acceptable to grunt only before the morning coffee, the true male will only answer in monosyllabic form, except for emergencies, i.e.. when some portion of your body is on fire. 2. Never ask for directions. Ever. Even if you find yourself crossing the state line when all you wanted was to go buy some ammo. 3. Never ever show emotion. No exceptions. Including the emergency…
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OLD telephone directories make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out names and addresses of people you don’t know. WHEN reading a book, try tearing out the pages as you read them. This saves the expense of buying a bookmark, and the pages can later be used for shopping lists. A TEASPOON placed in a glass on the back seat of your car makes a handy audible gauge for road bump severity. BUS DRIVERS: Pretend you’re an airline pilot, by…
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An atheist complained to a friend, “Christians have their special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter; Jews celebrate their holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur; Muslims have their holidays, too. EVERY religion has it holidays. But we atheists,” he said, “have no recognized national holidays. It’s an unfair discrimination.” His friend replied, “Well,…Why don’t you celebrate April 1?”
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If your goal in life is to do as little as possible, and you get away with that…does that make you successful? If love is blind and marriage is an institution, does that mean that marriage is an institution for the blind? If you can buy more memory for your computer…why can’t people? What does an imperfect stranger look like? The term “free gift” never made sense to me…has anybody ever said to you…”I bought you a gift, now that…
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You know you’ve had a really bad day when you find out your pregnant, and your mom is too. You know you’ve had a really bad day when you go into the post office, come back out, get into your convertible and realize, hey I’ve never had a convertible. You know you’ve had a bad when the cops pull you over for looking like a suspect on America’s most wanted. You know you’ve had a bad day when you go…
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Rich, Eddie and Michael decided to visit a prostitute. It was a slow night, so she gave the guys a deal. “You can pay by the inch.” When Rich comes back out his friends ask, “How much did she charge you?” “$75 dollars,” said Rich with a wink and a smile. Eddie goes in and returns with a fee of $85, and several “high fives.” The first two were proud of their prowess. Michael goes in and returns. “How much…
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