Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
This little old lady lives New York and after a long day goes home to her hotel. She passes the doorman and heads for the elevator. She pushes her floor, number 15, and the elevator begins to rise, but eventually stops on the third floor. Suddenly, this beautiful brunette walks into the elevator. As the elevator resumes ascending, the old lady begins sniffing the brunette. The brunette tosses her hair back and says, “Calvin Klein, $75 an ounce.” The elevator…
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WHERE THE DOG AND CAT CAME FROM A newly discovered chapter in the Book of Genesis has provided the answer to “Where do pets come from?” Adam said, “Lord, when I was in the garden, you walked with me every day. Now I do not see you anymore. I am lonesome here and it is difficult for me to remember how much you love me.” And God said, “No problem! I will create a companion for you that will be…
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Once a mother sent her 16-yr-old daughter to the doctor because she had a severe cold for a long time. The doctor asked her, “What is the matter with you, missy?” She replied, “My mother thent me to you becauth I have a thevere coldth.” He asked her to lie down as he listened to her heartbeat through the stethescope. “Big breaths,” he ordered. “Yeth, an I’m only thixteen, too.”
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Veteran Pillsbury spokesmodel “Pop n’ Fresh” died last week at age 71 due to a severe yeast infection. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The gravesite was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima gave the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who “never knew how much he was kneaded.” Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers.…
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A blind man was standing on the corner of a street with his dog when all of a sudden, the dog raises its leg and starts to relieve itself on the man’s trouser leg. The man reaches into his pocket and takes out a doggie biscuit. A woman who had been watching the whole thing runs up to him and says, “You shouldn’t do that. He’ll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!” The…
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One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm, a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked, with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?” The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. “I can’t, Dear,” she said. I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.” A long silence was broken at last by his shaky, little voice: “The big sissy.”
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You’ve Had Too Much Coffee When… You ski uphill. You answer the door before people knock. Juan Valdez has named his donkey after you. You haven’t blinked since the last lunar eclipse. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You just completed another sweater and you don’t know how to knit. You sleep with your eyes open. You have to watch videos in fast-forward. You lick your coffee pot clean. You spend your vacations visiting “Maxwell House”. Your eyes…
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If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer. Everyone has a photographic memory; some don’t have film. The universe is a figment of its own imagination. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives. There are three kinds of people: Those who can count; those who can’t. Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard…
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What do balls and Jehova’s witnesses have in common? They always come in pairs and you never let them in.
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Q: What’s the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scotsman? A: One says “Hey, you, get off of my cloud.” The other says, “Hey, McCloud, get off of my ewe.” Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with…. the other is used to carry groceries. Q: How do you recycle toilet paper? A: Hang it on the wall and bash the…
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