Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A frog telephones a psychic hotline and is told, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.” “Great,” says the frog, “Will I meet her at a party?” “No,” said the psychic, “Next year — in biology class.”
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Once upon a time three nuns died and went to heaven. It was very bright and beautiful. They met St. Peter at the front gate. He said, “The only way you can get into heaven is if you answer three questions. One question for each of you.” The three nuns agreed. St. Peter began to the first nun, “What was the Immaculate conception?” “Why, it’s Mary being told that Jesus was going to be born, St. Peter,” said the first…
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Dear Tech Support: Recently I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed that the new program began making unexpected changes to the accounting software, severely limiting access to wardrobe, flower, and jewelry applications that operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalls many other valuable programs such as DinnerDancing 7.5, CruiseShip 2.3, and OperaNight 6.1 and installs new, undesirable programs such as PokerNight 1.3, SundayFootball…
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A Rabbi went out one Saturday to visit his members. At one house it was obvious that someone was home, but nobody came to the door even though the Rabbi had knocked several times. Finally, the Rabbi took out his card and wrote “Ezekiel 44:16” on the back of it, and stuck it in the door. (They shall enter My house, and they shall come near My table, to minister to Me.) The next day, the card turned up in…
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If foreign films are so good, how come they don’t make them in this country? Definition of an optimist: an accordian player with a beeper. Old age is when you tell a friend you’re having an affair and he says, “That’s wonderful! Who’s the caterer?” Part of the trouble with doing nothing in life is that you never know when you’re through. Tractor pulls were invented so professional wrestling fans would have someone to look down on. Opieology: a religion…
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Two people went to Egypt on their honeymoon. They wanted to get camels to go out and see the pyramids and Sphinx and stuff. So they went to a tourist bureau to find a place that would rent them camels. The information guide told them to go to Heimi’s Rent-a-Camel. So they got directions and found the place. The tourists rang the bell. This short, fat man waddled out and asked if he could help them. They said they needed…
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A guy dies and goes to heaven. It?s a slow day for St. Peter, so, upon passing the entrance test, St. Peter says, ?I?m not very busy today, why don?t you let me show you around?? The guy thinks this is a great idea and graciously accepts the offer. St. Peter shows him all the sights, the golf course, the reading room and library, the observation room, the cafeteria and finally, they come to a HUGE room full of clocks.…
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Hop Sing was a cook on the Ponderosa Ranch. All the cowboys loved to poke fun at him because, being Chinese, he had a pigtail and wore a funny hat. He also couldn’t speak English very well. The cowboys used to put live snakes and frogs in his bed and pulled on his pigtail, just to tease him. Hop Sing, however, never complained and kept on working. He was a good sport. One day, the cowboys got together and said:…
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Back in the 1920’s, Americans were not yet accustomed to strangers of particularly exotic appearance, and when Wellington Koo served as Chinese representative at the Washington Conference in 1921, he was much more a curiosity than he would have been a generation later. At one social function, a Washington lady found herself next to Koo and was utterly unable to think of a thing to say. Finally, after the soup, she nerved herself to ask, in very clear tones so…
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The 3rd grade school teacher says,” O.K. everybody, the word for today is fascinate, and you have to come up with a sentence using that word.” Little Cindy raises her hand and says,”I went to the zoo on Friday, and it was fascinating.” The teacher says, “That’s nice but we want to use fascinate, not fascinating.” Larry raises his hand and says,”I went to a movie Saturday and I was fascinated.” The teacher says,”That’s nice too, but we want to…
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