Eve Jokes - page 174

Recent Beer Test

Yesterday scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones. To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, and couldn’t drive. No further testing is planned.

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Honeymoon Pictures

On their first night to be together, the newly wed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. “Oh, oh, aaahhh,” he exclaims. “My God you are so beautiful, let me take your picture.” Puzzled she asks, “MY picture?” He answers, “Yes my…

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Read JokeHoneymoon Pictures

Frustrated old man!

There was an old man sitting on a park bench crying his eyes out when a young jogger came by and asked him what was the matter. The old man says, “I’m a multimillionare, I have a great big house, the fastest car in the world and I just married a beautiful blonde bombshell who satisfies me every night in bed whether I like it or not …(sob)” The young jogger says, “Man, you have everything I have ever dreamed…

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Read JokeFrustrated old man!

Playing Worse and Worse

When John Mariucci was coaching the U.S. Olympic hockey team, there was a time or two when he became a bit impatient with his young and inexperienced squad. During one locker room tirade he screamed, “Every day you guys look worse and worse. And today you played like tomorrow.”

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A Load Off My Mind

This elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if he would hear his confession. The priest assured him that he would, and the two took up the customary positions on either side of the divider. “Well, Father,” began the old man. “At the beginning of World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. So I hid her in my attic, and they never found her.” “That’s…

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Isn’t it Ironic?

“Something you’ll never hear a woman say: ‘My, what an attractive scrotum!’” “I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. I said, ‘Thyroid problem?’” “My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” “I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a Great White or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.” “There are only two reasons to sit on the back row of an airplane: Either you…

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Read JokeIsn’t it Ironic?

Polish Hunting Trip

Two polish men went away for their annual hunting trip, and by accident, one was shot by the other. His worried companion got him out of the woods, into the car, and off to the nearest hospital. After several hours, the doctor came out with a worried expression on his face. “Well, doctor,” he inquired anxiously. “Is he going to live?” “It’s hard to say,” answered the doctor. “He would have a better chance if you hadn’t gutted him first.”

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Read JokePolish Hunting Trip

my friend joe

It was the year for Jack’s class reunion, and he thought he would go to see his old friend Joe. He thought that Joe would be there so he would go, too. When Jack got there, he was looking around for Joe. He could see everybody else, but not Joe. But he did see a really beautiful woman that he didn’t know. He thought he might go over and talk to her. When he got near the woman, she said,”Jack…

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Read Jokemy friend joe

The Old Dilapidated Boat

Joe and John were identical twins. Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself. One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it. He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening. Unbeknownst to him, his brother John’s wife had died suddenly in his absence. When he…

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Reach Out and Touch …

This is a true story straight from the EE Times datelined October 8, 1996: The Japanese company Matsushita Electric planned to launch a new Japanese PC for the Internet. Its sister company Panasonic developed a complete Japanese web browser. To make the system more “user-friendly”, Panasonic obtained the rights to the cartoon character “Woody Woodpecker” and made this its “Internet guide”. Panasonic eventually planned on a world version of this product. A huge marketing campaign was to have introduced the…

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Read JokeReach Out and Touch …