Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The class was playing a spelling game when the teacher asked for a word beginning with ‘A’. Johnny shot his arm into the air and blurted out ‘Asshole’. The teacher warned Johnny not to use such language again. She then asked for a word starting with ‘B’. Again Johnny shocked the class as he exclaimed ‘Bastard, miss.’ The teacher suitably repremanded Johnny and continued on. She decided to skip ‘C’ as she could imagine what Johnny would say. ‘D’ was…
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The husband was furious when he found out the checking account was empty. When he confronted his wife, she simply said, “It’s my turn.” “What do you mean, your turn?” yelled the husband. “In bed,” she explained, “you’ve been making early withdrawals for years. Now, it’s my turn.”
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A little boy woke up crying and ran to see his mother. “Mummy, Mummy. A voice came to me in my sleep. It said that my grandmother would die today.” The mother comforted him and told him not to worry, it was only a dream. But when he came home from school, he found his mum crying. She said that her mother had died a few hours ago. That night the voice returned. This time it said that the house…
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A woman had just gotten out of the shower where husband is now. She hears a knock at the door and without thinking of the towel around her being the only thing covering her she answers it. At the door stands her husband’s friend John. “Yes, can I help you?” she asks. “Well”, replies John, “I’ll give you $150 to drop that towel of yours!” Overwhelmed by the offer she blushes, but decides she could use the money so agrees…
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An anthropologist was assigned to Borneo, where he hired a guide with a canoe to take him up the river to the remote site where he would make his collections. At noon on the second day of travel up the river they began to hear drums. “What are those drums?” asked the anthropologist, knowing they were in cannibal country. The guide turned to him and said “No worry. Drums OK, but very bad when they stop.” They both went ghostly…
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One sunny summer day four rabbis are having a discussion on some part of the Torrah. Three agree on one explanation but the fourth one stands on the other. Being tired of this conversation he raises his arms and says, “God, give me a sign to prove that I’m right!” Suddenly, thunder clouds appear out of nowhere and cover the sky. The three other rabbis think for a while and say, “Nah, that’s just a coincidence” So, the rabbi raises…
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A newfie had been on a desert island for 40 years and had never seen another person. One day a lifeboat came ashore with a beautiful girl in it. She was amazed to find him alive after 40 years and asked him how he had survived. “Well, he said,I ate a lot of nuts, kept myself in shape and dug a lot of clams and ate a lot of clams.” She said, “Clams are good, but have you had sex…
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Desperate for work, a man went to the owner of a local circus and asked if there were any openings. The owner told him that he needed a high wire act, but the job required walking without a net over the lion’s cage while wearing a monkey suit. The man, needing the job, put on the suit and climbed to the high wire amid the stunned gasps of the crowd. Stepping gingerly on the thin rope, he began to shuffle…
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THE STATE OF THE UNION ADDRESS THAT PRESIDENT CLINTON SHOULD HAVE GIVEN: “Members of Congress…people of America…I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin flute player in my orchestra, you haven’t been paying attention. The only babes in D.C. I haven’t tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and Shalala, mostly because they’re a little older than I like and they…
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Microsoft has announced that Win98 will be released with a suggested retail price of $109US. Inside sources have been able to determine the cost of each of the Win98 “features”: $1 – Disk Defragmenter Optimization Wizard $1 – Windows System Update $1 – System File Checker Utility $1 – Windows Tune-Up Wizard $1 – Dr. Watson Utility $1 – New Backup Utility $1 – New Accessibility Tools $1 – FAT32 $1 – Windows 98 HelpDesk $1 – System Troubleshooter $1…
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