Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
There was a man selling a horse, and beside that there was a bench. One day there were 2 girls sitting on the bench and the man said, “Do you want to buy my horse? He’s a very good horse but he don’t look so good,” the girls refused to buy the horse. A few days later a boy was sitting on the bench and he said, “Do you want to buy my horse? He’s a very good horse, but…
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Father: “When you go back to your Mom’s tonight, give her this envelope. Tell her that since you are now 18 this is the LAST check she’ll ever see from me for child support. Then, stand back and watch the expression on her face.” Daughter: “OK.” Later…. Daughter: “Mom, Dad asked me to give you this envelope. He said to tell you that since I’m now 18 this is the LAST child support payment he’ll ever have to make to…
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A ventriloquist was driving through the country one day when his car broke down. He walked for a few miles and ended up at a farm. The farmer was very helpful, and called AAA. While the ventriloquist was waiting for AAA, he decided to have a little fun. “Nice horses”, he said to the farmer, “Can I talk to them?” The farmer said, “You city slicker! Them horses don’t talk!”. The ventriloquist said, “Let me try anyway. Hi horses! How…
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An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him, “How do you expect to get into heaven?” The boy thought it over and said, “Well, I’ll just run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, ‘For heaven’s sake, Jimmy, either come in or stay out!’”
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A wounded Marine limps into the bar and tells the bartender, “Give me a gin & tonic, a scotch & soda, a rum & coke and a Heineken.” The bartender looks a bit puzzled but, nonetheless, serves him his order. The Marine downs all four drinks, pays his tab and leaves. This goes on for a full week when the Marine enters again and orders up the usual. The bartender finally speaks up and says, “My God, man, I’ve seen…
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A couple had been married for 35 years, and the pair was also celebrating their 60th birthdays. During the celebration, a fairy godmother appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple all those years, she would give them each one wish. The wife said she wanted to travel around the world. The fairy godmother waved her magic wand and BOOM! The wife had the tickets in her hand. Then it was the husband’s turn. He paused…
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Johnnie and Susie, each ten years old, decided to get married. So Johnnie went to Susie’s dad to ask for her hand in marriage. “Where will you live?” asked Susie’s dad, thinking this is cute. “Well,” said Johnnie, “I figured I could just move into Susie’s room. It’s plenty big for both of us.” “And how will you live?” “I get $5 a week allowance and Susie gets $5 a week allowance. That’s should be enough,” Johnnie replied confidently. Getting…
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COLLEGE ENTRANCE EXAM FOR STUDENT ATHLETES Time Limit: 3 WEEKS 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions -OR- Give the first name of Pierre Trudeau. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to ____ (a) build a bridge ____ (b) sail the ocean ____ (c) lead an army or ____ (d) WRITE A PLAY 4. What religion is the Pope? (check only…
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A girl noticed that she had a green spot on the inside of each of her thighs. She waited a week for them to disappear, but instead, they got even bigger and greener. Worried, she made a visit to her doctor. He examined the green spots closely, poked them, prodded them, and then looked the girl in the eye and asked, “Are you still dating that gypsie guy?” “Yes, I am,” said the girl. “Why do you ask?” “Tell him,”…
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A guy decides to take off work early from work and go drinking. He stays in the bar until it closes at 2 a.m. By then, he is extremely drunk. When he gets back to his house, he doesn’t want to wake anyone up, so he takes off his shoes and starts tiptoeing up the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, he loses his balance, falls over backwards, and lands flat on his rear end. That wouldn’t have been so bad,…
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