Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Yo mama is so fat that she has to use diet soap to lose weight. Yo mama so black that if she wore a silver coat she’ll look like a Hersey’s kiss. Yo mama’s cooking is so bad that the homeless give it back. Yo mama so old that Jesus personally autographed her Bible. Yo mama so dumb that she drowned in a carpool.
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Will the Real Dummy Please Stand Up? AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked “intellectual leadership”. He received a $26 million severance package. With a Little Help from Our Friends! Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them, shouting pleas to come out and give himself up… …And What Was…
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The newspaper article reads: Police were called to the scene of a museum robbery where a masked bandit stole priceless works of art. The suspect was apprehended just 2 blocks away. When he was questioned by police they asked how could someone break through the security system with such ease and be caught just 2 blocks away. The suspect simply replied….”I had no ‘Monet’ for gas to make the ‘Van-Gogh’…….”
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“I’m going fishing.” Really means… “I’m going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.” “Let’s take your car.” Really means…. “Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas.” “Woman driver.” Really means…. “Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.” “I don’t care what color you paint the kitchen.”…
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You must first remove the plastic cover. By doing so you agree to accept and honor Microsoft rights to all TV dinners. You may not give anyone else a bite of your dinner (which would constitute an infringement of Microsoft’s rights). You may, however, let others smell and look at your dinner and are encouraged to tell them how good it is. If you have a PC microwave oven, insert the dinner into the oven. Set the oven using these…
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For years and years they told me, “Be careful of your breasts. Don’t ever squeeze or bruise them And give them monthly tests.” So I heeded all their warnings And protected them by law. Guarded them very carefully And always wore a bra. After 40 years of careful care, The doctor found a lump. He ordered up a mammogram To look inside that clump. “Stand up very close,” she said, As she got my breast in line. “And tell me…
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Two men, sitting side by side in a 747 jet, started to talk. One told the other that this was his first flight. They left New York City for Los Angeles. They landed in Chicago, whereupon a little red truck pulled up and refueled the plane. They again landed to refuel in Denver. Another little red truck pulled up to the plane. Then they took off once again. As they were about to land at their destination, the veteran flier…
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A jumbo jet took off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the pilot made an announcement over the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good and therefore we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back and relax – OH NO!!!” Silence followed and after a few anxious minutes, the pilot came back on the…
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Henry Ford dies and goes to Heaven. At the gates, Gabriel tells him, “You’ve been such a good guy and your invention of the assembly line changed the lives of many people. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want to in Heaven.” Ford thinks about it and says, “I want to hang out with God.” The be-feathered fellow at the Pearly Gates takes him to the throne room and introduces him to God. Ford then asks…
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The latest terms to add to your vocabulary in the Y2K office environment: * Seagull Manager – A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything and then leaves. * Salmon day – The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end. * Chainsaw consultant – An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands. * CLM – Career…
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