Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A bartender is closing for the night when there’s a knock at the back door. When he answers, a dirty-looking homeless guy asks him for a toothpick. The bartender is a little surprised, but he gives him a toothpick and the guy walks away. A few minutes later, there’a a second knock at the door. When he answers, there’s another homeless guy outside who asks for a toothpick. The second man gets his toothpick, and off he goes. A few…
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Passenger to Airline Ticket Agent: I want my brown suitcase sent to Los Angeles, my green suitcase sent to Kansas City, and my tan suitcase sent to New Orleans. Ticket Agent: I’m sorry, sir; this flight is to Nashville. We can’t do that. Passenger: Why not ? You did it last time.
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California winery Franzia has a product out called “Franzia’s Wine-In-A-Box.” It’s a great product for the homeless, because they can get drunk, and then have a place to sleep it off. Most homeless people eat dinner by scrounging through dumpsters. Like most Americans, they’re on a junk-food diet. You’d think that homeless people could get jobs at the supermarket pushing carts around, but they have no experience pushing them around empty…..you give a homeless guy a row of shopping carts…
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The Nice Guy 1. How do you typically look when you arrive to pick up your date? A. I wear my church clothes B. I like to dress up. Sometimes I bring a small present or flowers C. I dress casually unless I am very impressed with the woman D. I’m late, dress as I want, and if I bring anything it’s a sixpack of beer E. I take a knife 2.”Women are special.” Is this statement true? A. Yes,…
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A college professor asked his class a question. If Philadelphia is 100 miles from New York, and Chicago is 100 from Philadelphia, and Los Angeles is 2000 miles from Chicago, how old am I? One student in the back of the class raised his hand, and when called upon, said, “Professor, you’re 44.” The Professor said, “You’re absolutely correct. But tell me, how did you arrive at the answer so quickly?” The student said, “You see, Professor, I have a…
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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter’s window. The pilot’s sign said “WHERE AM I?” in large letters. People in the tall building quickly…
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A man is out in the wilderness and he’s hopelessly lost. It’s been nearly three weeks since he’s eaten anything besides what he could forage and he’s been reduced to sleeping in caves and under trees. One afternoon he comes upon an old mansion in the woods. It has vines covering most of it and the man can’t see any other buildings in the area. However, he sees smoke coming out of the chimney implying someone is home. He knocks…
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A helicopter was flying around above Seattle yesterday when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft?s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter?s position and course to steer to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a hand-written sign, and held it in the helicopter?s window. The pilot?s sign said ?WHERE AM I?? in large letters. People in the tall building quickly…
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Two elderly sisters donated $25 to a charity and, to their surprise, won tickets to the Superbowl. Since they had never seen a live football game before, Madge thought the free tickets would provide an excellent opportunity for doing so. “I think so, too,” said Mabel. “Let’s go!” They soon found themselves high in a noisy stadium overlooking a large, grassy expanse. They watched the kickoff and the seemingly endless back-and-forth struggles that comprised the scoreless first half. They enjoyed…
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Franchises Still Available! Yes!!! Make big $$$ (tax free) with your very own… “WILL WORK FOR FOOD” Franchise We supply the cardboard sign We supply the prime location We supply the thin clothing We supply fake Veteran card if needed We supply a special 90 minute instructional tape “How To Look Homeless” Say good-bye to that dead end job. Call today, operators are standing by, just dial, 1-800-RIP-UOFF!! Now until the end of the month, as a bonus, we will…
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