Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
The worried housewife sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. “How are you, darling?” it said. “What kind of a day are you having?” “Oh, Mother,” said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, “I’ve had such a bad day. The baby won’t eat, and the washing machine broke down. I haven’t had a chance to go shopping; and, besides, I’ve just sprained my ankle, and I have to hobble…
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An old guy comes up to a man and says, “Hi Mikey.” The man replies, “I’m not Mikey!” OLD GUY : Mikey, 50 years ago you were a black man and now you’re pale white. What happen to you? THE MAN : I’m not Mikey! OLD GUY : Mikey 50 years ago you were short and fat, and now you’re tall and skinny. What happen to you? THE MAN : I’m not Mikey! Finally, the old guy says, “YOU EVEN…
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So I went in for my regular checkup. I’m 34 years old now and my doctor thought it would be a good idea to check me out down below. I was not prepared for us to get that intimate, but I agreed to a rectal exam. My doctor proceeded to probe around and the whole time I could not stop thinking, “Maybe it’s time I found a new dentist.”
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Two old friends met one day after many years. One attended college, and now was very successful. The other had not attended college and never had much ambition. The successful one said, “How has everything been going with you?” “Well, one day I opened the Bible at random, and dropped my finger on a word and it was oil. So, I invested in oil, and boy, did the oil wells gush. Then another day I dropped my finger on another…
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A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. “What’s up?” he says. “I’m having a heart attack,” cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he’s dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, “Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted’s hiding in your wardrobe and he’s got no clothes on!” The guy slams the phone…
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A guy walks into a bar and sees a long line of people and a horse. Next to the horse he sees a large jar full of money. He asks the bartender what was going on. The bartender says “If you wait in that line, drop a five in that jar and make my horse laugh, you get to keep the money.” The guy decides to give it a try. He drops his five and leans in and whispers in…
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A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation. He wrote: “I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well-groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?” An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, “I’ve been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I’ve…
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One day this guy is sitting on a park bench eating a bald eagle. A cop comes by and says..”Hey fella…What do you think you are doing? That is an endangered species! You can’t kill it and eat it!” The cop arrests him and takes him to jail… The next day he goes to court and the judge says, “Sir, do you realize that a bald eagle is an endangered species and you can spend up to 5 years in…
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In the lower ranks of the MIS world, sorting out job titles is a nearly impossible task. Some folks are called Analysts. Some are called Programmers. Some are called Engineers. None of them has window offices. A truly experienced high-tech professional has held five or even six of these positions . . . usually all at the same time. 10. Programmer: This person holds the lowest rank in the DP field. Manages no one. Answers to everyone. Approximately 50% of…
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Q. How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer? A. The joystick is wet. Q. What do a screen door and a blonde have in common? A. The more you bang it the looser it gets. Q. What do you call a zit on a blondes ass? A. A brain tumor. Q. What is a blondes cheer? A. “I’m blonde, I’m blonde, I’m B.L.O.N…. oh well, I’m blonde, I’m blonde, yea, yea, yea! Q. Why do…
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