Dow Jokes - page 20

Musta been Sex

Two builders were working on the 48th floor of a skyscraper. One turns to the other and says, ” Damn, I gotta take a piss.” The other guy tells him to go ahead. The first guy says,”hell, we’re on the 48th floor. By the time I get to the ground, I’ll have pissed my pants.” The second guy looks around and spots a plank about twelve feet long, and gets an idea. He tells the first guy, “Hey, listen. I’ll…

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two bums

So this lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out…caterer, band, and a hired clown. Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house. Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. But…

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Maria’s Wedding Night

The Italian virgin Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother’s house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her: “Don’t worry, Maria. Tony’s a good man. Go upstairs and he’ll take care of you.” So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, “Mama, Mama, Tony’s…

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Little Johnny’s First Shower

Little Johnny was getting ready for his bath one night, when he asked his mom if he could take a shower like the grown-ups do. “Alright,” his mom said, “but I’ve got to take it with you, cause you’re too little.” In the shower, Little Johnny pointed to his mother’s chest and said,”What are those, mommy?” “These are my headlights, Johnny.” “Then what is that?” he said pointing down there. “That’s the grass,” said his mother. Johnny thought nothing of…

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guessing game

One day during class, the teacher decided to play a guessing game with her students. She said, “I’ll hold something behind my back, give a couple of clues, and whoever guesses what it will win lunch on me.” “Okay,” the teacher said, “the first item is round, red, and has seeds.” Katie raised her hand said, “Is it an apple?” “Sorry Katie it’s not an apple, it’s a tomato, but I like the way your thinking.” “The second object is…

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Husband Tracking

Two women were in a hair salon talking about their lives at home when the subject of flighty husbands came up. “It’s unbelievable,” one woman says. “I can never figure out where he goes at night.” “I know exactly what you mean,” says the other woman. “One second he’s in the house, and the next he’s gone without a trace.” “Well,” says a woman eavesdropping nearby. “I always know where my husband is.” “How do you manage that?” the other…

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payback time

A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing left but a quarter and the second half of his round trip ticket. If he could just get to the airport he could get himself home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation to the cabbie. He promised to send the driver money…

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Blonde goes to docter part 2

A blonde was working on painting her house when all of a sudden the ladder falls on top of her and she passes out. Not remembering any thing about it, The blonde goes and scratches her self. She feels a pain and immediatley goes to her docter. She sits down and the docter asks her what happened. Well docter, I was painting my house when the ladder fell on top of me and I passed out.That is all I remember.…

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Gabriel’s Horn

It was time for Father John’s Saturday night bath, and young nun, Sister Magdalene had prepared the bath water and towels just the way the old nun had instructed. Sister Magdalene was also instructed not to look at Fr. John’s nakedness if she could help it, do whatever he told her to do, and pray. The next morning the old nun asked Sister Magdalene how the Saturday night bath had gone. Oh, sister,” said the young nun dreamily. “I’ve been…

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You got fucked

This guy walked into a bar a nude bar he sat down at the counter and told the bartender he wanted to get fucked. This guy was 30 years old and still a virgin, pretty damn pathetic if you ask me. Anyway this man was somewhat desperate. So he asks the bartender where he could go to get fucked. The bartender pauses for a moment (seeing how desprate this guy is) and he gives the guy an address to go…

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