Dow Jokes - page 18

On Thrones

In keeping with the King of Bubis story who gets a new throne built everyday: Instead of throwing these thrones away, the king’s servants store the extra thrones in the attic of his grass shack….since they were worried that during the dry season, they might not get enough rain to grow the tall grasses with which to weave and fashion a new throne. Well, later that year, there was a minor earth tremor, and all those thrones that were saved…

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Why is Email Like a Penis?

Some folks have it, some don’t. Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They think that those who don’t have it are somehow inferior. They think it gives them power. They are wrong. Those who don’t have it may agree that it’s an nifty toy, but think it’s not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many of those who don’t have it would like to try it.…

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Fish Market

One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit. He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts. Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, “Hello ladies!”

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yo mama

YO MOMMA SO STUPID… Yo momma so stupid, she studied for a drug test! Yo momma so stupid, she thought, “Wu Tang” was an African orange drink! Yo momma so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl. Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! Yo momma so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order! Yo momma so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone! Yo momma…

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Crazy Engineers

A rather inhibited engineer finally splurged on a luxury cruise to the Caribbean. It was the “craziest” thing he had ever done in his life. Just as he was beginning to enjoy himself, a hurricane roared upon the huge ship, capsizing it like a child’s toy. Somehow the engineer, desperately hanging on to a life preserver, managed to wash ashore on a secluded island. Outside of beautiful scenery, a spring-fed pool, bananas and coconuts, there was little else. He lost…

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Go fish

A country lad applied for a salesman job at a city department store. In fact, it was the largest store in the world. The boss asked, “Have you ever been a salesman before?” “Yes, I was a salesman in the country,” said the lad. The boss liked the cut of him and said. “You can start tomorrow and I’ll come by when we close to see how you’re doing.” The day was long and arduous for the lad, but finally…

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You might be a redneck if….

You might be a reneck if… -You think potted meat on a saltine is an hors d’oeuvre. -You’ve ever spraypainted your girlfriend’s name on an overpass. -You’ve ever Christmas shopped at a truck stop. -You think heaven looks alot like Daytona, Florida. -You truly think God looks like Hank Williams Jr. -You go to a stockcar race and don’t nead a program. -Someone asks to see your I.D. and you show em your belt buckle. -Directions to your house include…

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REAL Product Warning Labels

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: “Product will be hot after heating.” On Tesco’s Tirimisu Dessert: “Do not turn upside down.” (Printed on bottom of box.) On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.” On Boot’s CHILDREN’S cough medicine: “Do not drive car or operate heavy machinery.” On Nytol (a sleep aid): “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” On a Korean kitchen knife: “Warning – – keep out of children.” On a string of Christmas lights from China:…

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Meanest, Toughest Cowboy

Three cowboys are sitting around a campfire, out on the lonesome prairie, each with the bravado for which cowboys are famous. A night of tall tales begins. The first one says, “I must be the meanest, toughest cowboy there is! Why, just the other day, a bull got loose in the corral and gored six men before I wrestled it to the ground by the horns, with my bare hands.” The second one can’t stand to be bested. “Why that’s…

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I Spy

The CIA loses track of one of its operatives, and so calls in one of their top spy hunters. The CIA boss says, “All I can tell you is that his name is Murphy and that he’s somewhere in Ireland. If you think you’ve located him, tell him the code words, ‘The weather forecast calls for mist in the morning.’ If it’s really him, he’ll answer, ‘Yes, and for mist at noon as well.’” So the spy hunter goes to…

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