Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A guy walks into a gas station and buys a pack of cigarettes. He pulls one out and starts smoking it. The cashier says, “Excuse me, Sir, but you can’t smoke in here.” The guy says, “Don’t you think it’s kinda dumb that I can BUY them here but can’t SMOKE then here?” And cashier quickly replies, “Not at all . . . we also sell condoms and toilet paper here.”
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Sign on restaurant window: Great food (50,000 flies can’t be wrong) Sign on an airport runway: All baggage carts must yield to oncoming planes. Sign at the Pavlov Institute: Knock: Please don’t ring bell. Sign at a crematorium: Urn more. Pay less. Sign in a 1 hour eyeglass store: 20/20 in 60 Minutes. Sign in a funeral parlor: Satisfaction guaranteed or your money back. Grave digger’s motto: We are the last ones to put you down. Sign in a dentist’s…
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WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF STAR WARS WAS SET IN GLASGOW? Chewbacca would look roughly the same except he’d only be about 5ft tall, from Blackhill and called Shug. He’d have the same amount of body hair but would also have tattoos, would permanently smell of drink and invariably sport a Rangers top. Obi-Wan Kenobi would invariably be referred to as Chief or Big Yin by his cohorts. People trying to start a fight with him would addess him as Wanky-Nobby.…
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A guy is driving along the freeway in Los Angeles. As he reaches downtown, he finds himself in the middle of a massive traffic jam that is blocking up five different freeways and sending lines of cars back for miles in all directions. After a while, he notices a guy walking from car to car down the freeway, stopping and talking to people through their car windows. When the guy reaches him he rolls down his window and says, “Hey!…
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ARIES You tend to be a headstrong and deliberate in your actions. Basically you don’t give a fuck about anyone. Most people hate you but you couldn’t care less. You’re the type of person who would masturbate at a wedding. TAURUS Warm and caring are your most endearing characteristics. You get on well with most people because you’re bisexual. You hardly ever wear underwear and you constantly smell of piss. GEMINI Your star sign denotes an air of duality in…
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During a rather rowdy party, one unattached female guest kept disappearing into a back bedroom with one man after another, including the host. This did not go unnoticed by the host’s wife, who was quietly smoldering, but kept her composure, so as not to ruin the party. It was still fairly early when “Miss Willing” approached the hostess, looking somewhat frazzled and rumpled. “I’m sorry to rush off,” she exclaimed, “but I don’t feel too well.” “Of course, I understand,…
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A young mother paying a visit to a doctor made no attempt to restrain her five-year-old son Little Johnny, who was ransacking an adjoining room. But finally, an extra loud clatter of bottles did prompt her to say, “I hope, doctor, you don’t mind Johnny being in there.” “No,” said the doctor calmly, “He’ll be quiet when he gets to the poisons.”
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1.Does the Little Mermaid wear an algae bra? 2.Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? 3.How is it possible to have a civil war? 4.If God dropped acid, would he see people? 5.If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too? 6.If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry? 7.If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? 8.Whose cruel idea was it for the word “Lisp” to have a “S”…
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After a day of fishing in the ocean, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two lobsters in a bucket. He is approached by the Game Warden, who asks him for his fishing license. The fisherman says to the warden, “I did not catch these lobsters. They are my pets. Everyday I come down to the water and whistle, and these lobsters jump out, and I take them for a walk, only to return for them at the end…
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Some cute insults are : 1. I know you’re not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be! 2. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent! 3. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? 4. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? 5. At least there is one thing good about your body. It isn’t as ugly as your face! 6. Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent!
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