Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Old Mrs. Moskowitz, who was ailing, was persuaded to visit a gynecologist for the first time in her life. The efficient young doctor soothed her, helped her onto the table, and began a thorough gynecological examination. Mrs. Moskowitz, looking down at him with deep disapproval, said, “Young man, does your mother know how you make a living?”
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The Welfare Department received these letters from American citizens: 1. I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead. 2. Unless I get my husband’s money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life. 3. I want money as quick as I can get it, so I have been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn’t do me any good. If things don’t improve I will have to send…
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An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, “Uh oh!” The man asked the doctor what the problem was. “Well, said the doc, “you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke? “No,” replied the man. “Do you drink to excess?” “No,” replied the man. “Do you have a sex life?” “As a matter of fact, I do!” “Well, said the doc, “I’m afraid with this…
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An eighty-year-old man was having an annual physical. As the doctor was listening to his heart with the stethoscope, he began muttering, ?Oh oh!? The old geezer asked the doctor what the problem was. ?Well,? said the doc, ?you have a serious heart murmur. Do you smoke?? ?No,? replied the man. ?Do you drink in excess? ?No,? replied the man. ?Do you have a sex life?? ?Yes, of course I do!? exclaimed the man. ?Well,? explained the doc, ?I?m afraid…
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This story took place at a mental hospital. The mentally retarded group of young men gathered around the swimming pool which did not have a drop of water. They pretended swimming with different styles and techniques just like the pool was full of water. The doctor was watching the group and noticed there was one man who did not swim, so he walked up to the patient: Doctor: why are you not swimming? Young man: Haha, you must not be…
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Old man Murray goes to the doctor with a very worried look on his face. “Doctor,” he says, “You’ve got to help me. Do you remember those voices in my head I always complain about?” “Yes,” the doctor replies. “Well, they’ve suddenly gone away,” Murray says. “So, what’s the problem?” “I think I’m going deaf.”
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A guy goes to a proctologist to complain about a rectal disorder. The doctor examines him, tells him he needs an enema, gives him the necessary medication for the enema, and asks him to come back the following week for a checkup. Upon returning the next week, the guy complains that the medication did nothing for him. “Did you use the medication properly?” asks the doctor. “Of course I did, Doc! Jeez, what do you think, I shoved it up…
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A person walked into a doctor’s office. “Can I get a brain transplant?” the person asked the doctor. “Sure,” she replied. “You can have a doctor’s brain for $100, a pilot’s brain for $150, or a politician’s brain for $10,872.” “Why is the politician’s brain so expensive?” asked the person. “Oh, it’s never been used,” the doctor replied.
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10. “Norm” is what they say when you enter the bar. 9. Two hands and one mouth….Now THAT’S a drinking problem. 8. 24 hours a day, 24 beers in a case … coincidence??? 7. You sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group. 6. The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat. 5. At an AA meeting you begin: “Hi my name is….uh…”. 4. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.…
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Barbie’s Letter To Santa: Dear Santa: Listen, you fat little troll, I’ve been helping you out every year, playing at being the perfect Christmas Present, wearing skimpy bathing suits in frigid weather, and drowning in fake tea from one too many tea parties, and I hate to break it to ya Santa, but IT’S DEFINITELY PAY BACK TIME! There had better be some changes around here this Christmas, or I’m gonna call for a nationwide meltdown (and trust me, you…
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