Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
An elderly couple were having trouble remembering things. The man advised the woman that he thought they should see a doctor. Both agreed and went to the doctor. The doctor stated that was no big problem and that it is easily cured. “Get yourself a tablet and when you think of something write it on the tablet.” The couple returned home. Later that evening the man asked the woman if she would kindly get him a glass of ice water.…
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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the woman’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from her body because she was too skinny. So the husband offered to donate some of his own skin. However, the only skin on his body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from his buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin…
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1: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A mental block! 2: What do you say to a blonde that won’t give in? “Have another beer.” 3: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine? “Daddy! I want to go to Miami 4: Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, a smart blonde, and a dumb blonde are walking down the street. They spot a $100 on the ground. Who gets it? Nobody. The first four don’t exist and the…
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Memo To: All Employees Subject: New Policies Sick Days: We will no longer accept a doctor’s statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. Surgery: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs. You should not consider removing anything. We hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse…
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A man needs to get an artificial eye due to a work injury. The eye doctor shows him a glass eye and a wooden eye. He can only afford the wooden eye so he buys it. He is embarassed to have a wooden eye and doesn’t socialize. He hears of a handicap dance and desides that he would risk going, thinking that no one would make fun of him at the dance since they have disabilities too. When he gets…
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Jim and Ted play golf together every Monday. Jim always wins because Ted is a terrible putter. One Monday, Ted can’t miss. He sinks every shot on the green. Jim can’t believe his eyes! After the round, Jim asks, “What has happened? You can’t miss today.” Ted says, “Order up the beer, I have to go to the bathroom”. When Ted comes back the front of his pants are all wet. Confused, Jim asks “What happened to your pants?” “I’ll…
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1. Yo Mama is soo fat, she stepped on a dollar bill and made change. 2. Yo Mama is soo stupid, she thought she needed an x-ray when she broke wind. 3. Yo Mama is soo ugly, when she was born the doctor smacked her with a lawsuit. 4. Yo Mama is soo fat, if she fell she would rock herself to sleep trying to get up.
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Over the dinner table, Mrs. Moskowitz said to her spouse, “You know how nervous and tense I’ve been lately, Jake? Well, I went to see the doctor.” “Yes,” murmured Moskowitz, never lifting his eyes from the soup he was eating. “And what did the doctor say, Becky?” “He examined me thoroughly, Jake, and said that physically, I was in fine shape. He said all I needed was some sex.” Moskowitz’a attention was now caught. “Is that so?” he said. “And…
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Ole, Lena and Sven were lost in the woods of Northern Minnesota and were becoming desperate, having run out of food several days ago. It was winter, the snow was deep, their situation was looking very bleak. When Ole dug down into the snow to look for nuts, he found an oil lamp and upon rubbing it to get the snow off, a genie came out. The genie says, “I am da great genie of Nordern Minnesooota and I can…
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SO BIG Yo mama’s so big, that she climbed Mt. Fuji with one step. Yo mama’s so big, her belly button’s got an echo. Yo mama’s so big, she can’t wear an X jacket cause helicopters kept landing on her back. Yo mama’s so big, she rollerskates on busses. Yo mama’s so big, she thought Barnum & Bailey were clothing designers. Yo mama’s so big, she uses a jungle gym for a walker. Yo mama’s so big, she uses bowling…
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