Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Rodney walks into a bar and says, “Bartender, give me two shots–one for me and one for my best buddy here.” The bartender says, “You want both drinks now or do you want me to wait until your buddy arrives to pour this?” Rodney says, “Oh, I want them both now. I’ve got my best buddy in my pocket here.” With that, he pulls out a little three-inch man from his pocket. The bartender says, “Wow! And you mean to…
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Only in America…can a pizza get to your house faster that an ambulance… Only in America…are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink… Only in America…do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry and a diet coke… Only in America…do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters… Only in America…do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the…
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A woman’s car breaks down on the Interstate one day, so she carefully eases it over onto the shoulder, steps out of the car, and opens the trunk. Out jump two men in trench coats, who walk to the rear of the vehicle, where they stand facing oncoming traffic and begin opening their coats and exposing themselves to approaching drivers. Not surprisingly, one of the worst pile-ups in the history of this highway occurs. It’s not very long before a…
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Princess Diana and Dolly Parton die on the same day, and they both go before St. Peter to find out if they’ll be admitted to heaven. Unfortunately, there’s only one space left for that day, so St.Peter asks Dolly if there’s some particular reason why she should go to heaven, so she takes off her top and says, “Look at these. They’re the most perfect ones God ever created, and I’m sure it will please him to be able to…
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There were two Jewish woman (Ruth and Golda) walking along the street. Ruth says to Golda, “My son, Irving, is finally getting married. He tells me he is engaged to a wonderful girl, but he thinks she may have a disease called herpes.” Golda says to Ruth, “Do you have any idea what this herpes is and can he catch it?” Ruth answers, “No, but I am so thrilled to hear about Irving’s engagement. It’s past time he’s settled. As…
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How To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity In The Workplace 1. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice. 2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. This is especially effective if your boss is of a different gender than you. 3. Make up nicknames for all your coworkers and refer to them only by these names. “That’s a good point, Sparky.” “No, I’m sorry,…
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A magician working on a small cruise ship has been doing the same routines every night for a year or two now. The audiences still appreciate him, as they change over often enough that he doesn’t have to worry about learning new tricks. However, the ship’s parrot sits in the back row of every show and watches him night after night, year after year. Finally, the parrot figures out how the tricks work and starts giving it away for the…
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Just recently I was honored to be selected as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my community to be a judge at a chili cookoff because no one else wanted to do it. Also, the original person called in sick at the last minute and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy,…
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God grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference. Now that I’m older….here’s what I’ve discovered: 1. I started out with nothing .. I still have most of it. 2. When did my wild oats turn to prunes and All Bran? 3. I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart. 4. Funny, I don’t remember…
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A man is tired of having to do everything for himself around his house, so one day he goes down to his local pet shop and asks the owner for a pet that can do chores for him. The pet shop owner offers the man a dog, and the man replies, saying “Dogs are dirty animals, what else do you have?” The owner says “What about a cat?” to which the man replies, “Cats are too lazy” The owner then…
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