Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A man walks into a pub and sees a 6′ 4″ blonde at the bar he says to her do you want to hear a blonde joke. She turns to him and says look I’m the Ladies World long distance swimming champion and I weigh 13 stone and am not fat my blonde friend over there is the Ladies world weight lifting champion she weighs 16 stone and is not fat and sat next to her is my other blonde…
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1. English……….. I Love You 2. Spanish………. Te Amo 3. French……….. Je T’aime 4. German………. Ich Liebe Dich 5. Japanese……. Ai Shite Imasu 6. Italian………. Ti Amo 7. Chinese……… Wo Ai Ni 8. Swedish…….. Jag Alskar Dig 9. Eskimo………. Nagligivaget 10. Greek………… S’Agapo 11. Hawaiian……. Aloha Nui Loa 12. Irish…………. Thaim In Grabh Leat 13. Hebrew……… Ani Ohev Otakh 14. Russian…….. Ya Lyublyu Tyebya 15. Albanian……. Une Te Dua 16. Finnish……… Mina Rakkastan Sinua 17. Turkish…….. Seni Seviyorum 18. Hungarian………
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For those of you who don’t know, Gay Head is the name of a small town on Martha’s Vineyard, now renamed to Aquinna (I can’t imagine why they renamed it). It is known for its fabulous beach and stunning red cliffs overlooking the beach. On my recent vacation, I decided to go there for the day. Feeling a little brave, I decided to head for the Northwest end of the beach. This is where bathing suits are optional. As I…
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A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room. A professor is one who talks in someone else’s sleep. A schoolteacher is a disillusioned woman who used to think she liked children. A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time. A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
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Japan is having its “once in a millennium” Samurai contest. After several years of pretrials, three of the greatest samurais are meeting in Tokyo. In a large arena, the first samurai stood in the middle of a 20-foot square. He is from Nagasaki. One of the judges opened up a small box and let a little fly out of it. Within an instant “SWOOSH” a gleaming sword pierced through the air and the fly was cut in half. There was…
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Yo mama’s so hunch-backed, she has to wear a snorkel and mask to wash the dishes.
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December 30, 2004/Washington, D.C.(Associated Press) After four years of legal wrangling, George W. Bush was finally declared the winner of the 2000 Presidential Election yesterday. Bush, a Republican, will take the oath of office at noon today and serves until January 20, 2005, a term of about three weeks. Then he gives way to the undisputed winner of the 2004 Presidential Election, New York Senator Hillary Rodham Greenspan (formerly Clinton). Facing a drastically shortened presidency, Bush attempted to strike an…
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1. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. 2. Memorize your favorite poem. 3. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have, or sleep all you want. 4. When you say, “I love you,” mean it. 5. When you say, “I’m sorry,” look the person in the eye. 6. Be engaged at least six months before you get married. 7. Believe in love at first sight. 8. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. 9. Love deeply and…
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Mrs. Jones called the doctor’s office and was met with this response by the secretary. “This is Dr. Whitman’s office. What would you like to talk about?” Mrs. Jones was disturbed by this response and replied, sarcastically, “I want to order a hamburger with fries. For goodness sakes, why would I call a doctor if I didn’t feel sick? I’m very sick. I need to see the doctor.” “Fine,” replied the secretary, “I can make an appointment for you. Let…
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There was a man who computed his taxes for 1998 and discovered that he owed $3407. He packaged up his payment and included this letter: Dear IRS: Enclosed is my 1998 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat. Please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six…
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