Desk Jokes - page 9

1. Smoke jimson weed. Do whatever comes naturally. 2. Switch the sheets on your beds while s/he is at class. 3. Twitch a lot. 4. Pretend to talk while pretending to be asleep. 5. Steal a fishtank. Fill it with beer and dump sardines in it. Talk to them. 6. Become a subgenius. 7. Inject his/her twinkies with a mixture of Dexatrim and MSG. 8. Learn to levitate. While your roommate is looking away, float up out of your seat.…

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In case your frustration level rises today, this is for everyone who occasionally has a really bad day when you just need to take it out on someone: I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a telephone call that I had to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered nicely saying, “Hello?” I politely said, “This is Patrick Hanifin and may I please speak to Robin Carter?” Suddenly the phone was slammed down on…

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One day a man went in to talk to his preacher and while he was talking, he was eating away at the peanuts sitting on the preacher’s desk. He did not notice how many peanuts he had eaten, and when he finally looked down, the bowl was empty. The man said to the preacher, “I am so sorry, I didn’t notice that I ate all of your peanuts.” The preacher replied, “Oh, don’t worry about it, son. I just suck…

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On April Fool’s Day, my brother walked away from his desk. When he returned to it, he noticed a note taped to his screen. It had the name of Mr. Lions and the number where he could reach him. When he called for Mr. Lions, he got this really grumpy lady at the other end. After identifying himself, he said he was returning Mr. Lion’s call. The lady replied, “Son, I’m sorry, but this is the Pittsburgh ZOO!”

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