Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
A school teacher injured his back and had to wear a plaster cast around the upper part of his body. It fit under his shirt and was not noticeable at all. On the first day of the term, still with the cast under his shirt, he found himself assigned to the toughest students in school. Walking confidently into the rowdy classroom, he opened the window as wide as possible and then busied himself with desk work. When a strong breeze…
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* A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station… * If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with “quit while you’re ahead”? * I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on me. They’re cramming for their “finals”. * I thought about how mothers feed their…
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An English teacher at Iowa State University spent a lot of time marking grammatical errors on her students’ written work. She wasn’t sure how much impact she was having until one overly-busy day when she sat at her desk, rubbing her tired and aching temples. A student walked by and asked, “What’s the matter, Mrs. Sheridan?” “Tense,” she replied, describing her emotional state. After a slight pause, the student tried again . . . “What was the matter? What has…
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At 3 am a desk clerk at a hotel gets a call from a drunk guy asking what time the bar opens. “It opens at noon,” answers the clerk. About an hour later he gets a call from the same guy, sounding even drunker. “What time does the bar open?” he asks. “Same time as before, Noon,” replies the clerk. Another hour passes and he calls again, plastered. “Whenjoo shay the bar opinsh at?” The clerk then answers, “It opens…
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“Doctor’s Office Etiquette” A man walked into a crowded doctor’s office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist asked, “Yes sir, may we help you?” “There’s something wrong with my dick,” he replied. The receptionist became aggravated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded office and say things like that.” “Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you,” he said. “We do not use language like that here,” she said. “Please go outside and come…
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A guy walked into his friend’s office and found him sitting at his desk, looking very depressed. “Hey, what’s up with you?”, he asks. “Oh, it’s my wife”, replied the man sadly. “She’s hired a new secretary for me.” “Well, nothing wrong in that. Is she blonde or brunette?” “Neither, he’s bald.”
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A blonde walks into a store and sees a cylindrical item of the shelf. The blonde asks the clerk, “What is this item?” The clerk replies, “It’s a thermos. It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold.” The blonde replies, “How cute, I’ll take one!” The blonde goes to work the next morning with her new thermos. A colleague walks by and says “What is that on your desk?” The blonde replies proudly, “It’s my thermos. It keeps hot…
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Mary Poppins was traveling home, but due to inclement weather she decided to top at a nice hotel for the night. She approached the front desk and requested a room. “Certainly, Madam”, the clerk replied. “Is the coffee shop still open?” she asked. “No, Madam, I’m sorry,” he replied, “but room service is available all night. Would you care to select dinner from this menu?” Mary graciously scanned the menu. “Yes, I think the cauliflower with cheese would be fine,…
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You receive a $300 bill from your tree surgeon and you live in an apartment. The plumber tells you it would be cheaper to install a diving board than to drain the cellar. You bear a striking resemblance to this week’s prime suspect on America’s Most Wanted. The Dialing for Dollars host quizzes you about the only John Wayne film you haven’t seen. Your heart medication has been replaced with sugar pills and a note that says “April fools!” You…
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The IS department has defined a lower cost alternative for Desktop conversions that also addresses the Y2K (Year 2000) issue. The goal is to remove all computers from the desktop by Jan, 1999. Instead, everyone will be provided with an Etch-A-Sketch. There are many sound reasons for doing this: 1. No Y2K problems 2. No technical glitches, keeping work from being done. 3. No more wasted time reading and writing emails. 4. Substantial hardware cost savings. Frequently Asked Questions from…
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