Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
NAME:____________ GANG:____________ 1. Johnny has an AK47 with a 40 round clip. If he misses 6 out of 10 shots and shoots 13 times at each driveby shooting, how many driveby shootings can he attend before he has to reload? 2. Rufus is pimping for 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 a day crack habit? 3. Jerome wants to cut his…
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Coming back from a month-long business trip to Asia, a wealthy businessman arrived at the airport where he was fetched by his chauffeur named Jim. On the long drive home, the businessman inquired, “So, Jim, has anything happened while I was away?” Jim replied, “No, sir. I can’t think of anything at all worth mentioning.” The businessman said, “Come now, Jim. I have been away for almost a month. Surely something must have happened in all that time.” Thinking for…
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One day, Bob, who is a salesman, walked into his boss’s office. Bob said he had this friend who was a really good salesman, but he just got laid off. Bob asked if there was any chance that his boss could give him a job. His boss smiled, but said that he doesn’t like to hire people unless he meets them first. Bob then replied, “Well can’t you just give him a chance. You know, one of those trial periods.”…
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Since he was a Texan being tried in New York, the young man felt he didn’t have a prayer of beating his murder rap. So, shortly before the jury was to retire, he bribed one of the jurors to find him guilty of manslaughter, not murder. The jury was out for days, after which they returned a verdict of manslaughter. Cornering the bribed juror, the Texas whispered. “Thanks a million! However did you manage it?” “It wasn’t easy, admitted the…
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A woman takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Her 9-year-old son comes home unexpectedly, so she puts him in the closet and shuts the door. Her husband also comes home, so she puts her lover in the closet, with the little boy. The little boy says, “It sure is dark in here.” The man says, “Yes, it is.” Boy – “I have a baseball.” Man – “That’s nice.” Boy – “Want to buy it?”…
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After a trial had been going on for three days, Harrison, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge’s bench. “Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from ‘innocent’ to ‘guilty’ of the charges.” The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. “If you’re guilty, why didn’t you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?” he demanded. Harrison looked up, wide-eyed, and stated,…
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Every night just before bedtime, Little Johnny listens to his father reading fairy tales. Having a deep sense of humor, his father usually ad-libs some parts of the fairy tales just for fun. One day, Little Johnny is in class listening to the teacher reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. The teacher reads, “… and the little pig met a man pushing a wheelbarrow full of straw. So the little pig said to the man, ‘Excuse me, mister.…
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Church was full one Sunday morning and the preacher was giving a powerful sermon about Heaven and Hell. All of a sudden, the front door opens and in walks Satan. All of the congregation runs out the front door screaming “It’s Satan, it’s Satan!” That is, all except one old man in the “amen” pew. Satan goes up to him and says, “Don’t you know who I am?” The old man says, “Yea, you’re Satan.” Satan says, “Aren’t you scared…
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True Facts About Americans Only 30% of us can flare our nostrils. 21% of us don’t make our bed daily. 5% of us never do. Men do 29% of laundry each week. Only 7% of women trust their husbands to do it correctly. 40% of women have hurled footwear at a man. 85% of men don’t use the slit in their underwear. 67.5% of men were tightie whities (briefs). The average bra size today is 36C whereas 10 years ago…
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1. Never walk down the hall without a document in your hands. People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they?re heading for the cafeteria. People with the newspaper in their hands look like they?re heading for the bathroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.…
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