Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
“I think we agree, the past is over.”?On his meeting with John McCain, Dallas Morning News, May 10, 2000 “It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it.”–Reuters, May 5, 2000 (Thanks to Allison Fansler.) GOV. BUSH: Because the picture on the newspaper. It just seems so un-American to me, the picture of the guy storming the house with a scared little boy there. I talked to my little brother, Jeb?I haven’t told this to many people.…
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A little child was in church for the first time and watched as the ushers passed the offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster said in a little voice loud enough for everyone to hear: “Don’t pay for me, Daddy. I’m under five.”
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One day at the carp fair there was a shovel throwing competition. The first contestant gets up and throws the shovel 100 yards. The shovel throwing judge says,” Wow what a toss, that was better than anyone at the last fair, do you mind if I ask what you do for a living?” The guy says,” My grandfather was a farmer, my daddy’s a farmer and I’m a farmer; we shovel shit all day long, I guess I just got…
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An old man gets on a crowded bus, and no one offers to give him a seat. As the bus shakes and rattles along, the old man’s cane slips on the floor and he falls. As he slowly gets back up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby, turns to him and says, “If you would put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn’t slip.” The old man snaps back, “Well, if your daddy had done the…
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A little girl was watching her parents dress for a formal party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, “Daddy, you shouldn’t wear that suit.” “And why not, Darling?” “You know that it always gives you a headache next morning.”
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By: Matt Ravlich 10. last night I got temporary amnesia and I totally forgot! 9. My older sister couldn’t find her same homework from last year. 8. The dog did it for me, but it was in his language. 7. The paper airplane I made out of it accidental flew out the window. 6. I fell asleep on it and when I woke up all my drool smudged all the ink. 5. It is here it’s just in invisible ink!…
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One day a father asked his oldest son Jim to help his youngest son Tom with his math homework. After an hour, Jim got frustrated and yelled, “Dad, get in here!”. “What’s the problem?” asked the father. “Tom doesn’t know math! Ask him a question”. “Tom, what’s 2×2?” “6” replied Tom. “See, I told you.” “Now don’t be be so hard on him Jimmy, he only missed it by one!”
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An Amish family decides to send their son to the army. When the boy comes back, he has a little oval green thing in his hand. He goes to his mother to ask her what it is. “Mom, what is this thing?” The mother replies, “I’m not sure. Go ask your father.” So the boy asks his father what it is. “What is this dad?” His father replies, “I think it’s one of those things that you pull the pin…
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Three Hells Angels are sitting at a table in a transport cafe when in walks a nun who takes a seat next to them and begins to eat. Astonished, one Hell’s Angel says, “I went to my parents’ wedding last week and we all got shit-faced.” The nun continues to eat even though she obviously has heard the exchange. Being quick on the uptake, the second one says, “My dad says he will marry my mother next year.” Despite this,…
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One day a third grade teacher was giving a guessing test to her students. She told them to close their eyes, while she put an item of food in their mouth. She told Bobby to close his eyes and open his mouth. She put an orange slice in his mouth and said, “Tell me what it is.” Bobby said an orange slice. She said, “You win.” She told Jane to do the same and she put a Hershey’s kiss in…
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