Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
One day, a father and son were walking along the beach when they came across a dead seagull lying on its back. Curiously, the son asked, “Daddy, what’s wrong with the bird?” “There comes a time in your life when you die,” said the father. “Where do you go when you die?” said the son. “Up to heaven,” said the father. “What happens in heaven?” said the son. “God invites you into his kingdom,” said the father. “Then, why did…
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Father: “When you go back to your Mom’s tonight, give her this envelope. Tell her that since you are now 18 this is the LAST check she’ll ever see from me for child support. Then, stand back and watch the expression on her face.” Daughter: “OK.” Later…. Daughter: “Mom, Dad asked me to give you this envelope. He said to tell you that since I’m now 18 this is the LAST child support payment he’ll ever have to make to…
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Johnnie and Susie, each ten years old, decided to get married. So Johnnie went to Susie’s dad to ask for her hand in marriage. “Where will you live?” asked Susie’s dad, thinking this is cute. “Well,” said Johnnie, “I figured I could just move into Susie’s room. It’s plenty big for both of us.” “And how will you live?” “I get $5 a week allowance and Susie gets $5 a week allowance. That’s should be enough,” Johnnie replied confidently. Getting…
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You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If… You ever heard the phrase, “May the force be with y’all.” Your Jedi robe is camouflage. You have ever used your light saber to open a can of Bud. At least one wing of your X-Wing Fighter is primer colored. You can easily describe the taste of Ewok. You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard. The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters. Wookiees…
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Q: What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common? A: Nothing, yet. Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off. Q: How do you play Iraqi bingo? A: B-52…F-16…B-2 Q: What is Iraq’s national bird? A: Duck Q: Why does the Iraqi Navy have glass bottom boats? A: So they can see their Air Force. Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer…
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Little Johnny and his father are observing a couple of dogs screwing each other. “Dad, what are those dogs doing?” asks Little Johnny “Well, the one below is relaxed and the one on top is concentrating.” “Okay, I understand.” “What do you understand?” asks the father sarcastically. “Never relax in life, Dad, or you’ll get fucked like a dog!”
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Chelsea asked her dad, “Do all fairy tales begin with ‘Once upon a time?’” Bill Clinton replied, “No. Some begin with ‘After I’m elected’.”
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Lil’ Johnny’s parents were fighting. There were screaming, crying, and cussing. Johnny’s mom called his dad a bastard. Johnny’s dad called his mom a bitch. Finally, they broke it up and apologized, although both of them were still a little steamed. His dad went upstairs to the bathroom. His mom stayed in the kitchen to cook the turkey. Lil’ Johnny went upstairs to the bathroom. His father was in there shaving. He asked his dad: “Dad, what does bitch mean?”…
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HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? “You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.” Alan, age 10 “No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” Kirsten, age 10 WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE…
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10. Your car can actually go airborn when driving over hills at high speeds. 9. Never flip off the elderly, they may have heart conditions. 8. If you see a pedestrian crossing the road, do not speed up and take bets on whether they will make it or if they will have to run back. 7. If you have little kids in the car and you see a rabbit hopping across the road, do not speed up and say “wow…
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