Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
If Men TRULY ran the world: 1. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a “Nice hustle, you’ll get ’em next time” would pretty much do it. 2. Birth control would come in ale or lager. 3. Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years. 4. On Groundhog Day, if you saw your shadow, you’d get the day off to go drinking. Mother’s Day too. 5.…
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A joke told about my father, Officer Harold Padgett, who was a traffic cop at the time…… George had just gotten a brand new ten speed bike when he got the notion in his head that he was going to ride his new bike across the state. George hopped on his bike and peddled away toward this new adventure. Twenty miles down the road, George is huffing and puffing all the peddling, so he pulls into a gas to take…
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Once a mother sent her 16-yr-old daughter to the doctor because she had a severe cold for a long time. The doctor asked her, “What is the matter with you, missy?” She replied, “My mother thent me to you becauth I have a thevere coldth.” He asked her to lie down as he listened to her heartbeat through the stethescope. “Big breaths,” he ordered. “Yeth, an I’m only thixteen, too.”
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Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated. Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite. The national anthem of Greece has 158 verses. No one in Greece has memorized all 158 verses. There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. The average secretary’s left hand does 56% of the typing. A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes. There are more chickens than people in the world. Two-thirds of the world’s eggplant is grown in…
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Here are three of the latest blonde inventions. 1. A wooden BBQ 2. An ejecter seat on a heli-copter 3. Air-Conditioning on a moter bike
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A young boy is riding his new bike down the street on Christmas morning. A polieman on a horse says to the boy, “Did Santa bring you that bike?” The boy says,”Yes he did.” the officer then pulls out a ticket and says to the boy, ” Next time tell Santa to put reflectors on that bike.” He then gives the boy the ticket. The boy asks the cop, “Did santa bring you that horse?” going along with the child…
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1. Ride mechanical horses with coins fished out of the fountain. 2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big. 3. Dial 900 numbers from demonstration phones in Radio Shack. 4. Sneeze on the sample tray at Hickory Farms and helpfully volunteer to consume its now unwanted contents. 5. At the bottom of an escalator, scream ‘MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!’ 6. Ask the sales personnel at the music store whether inflated CD…
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A priest went into a Washington, D.C. barbershop and got his hair cut. He then asked asked how much he owed the barber. “No charge, Father,” the barber said. “I consider it a service to the Lord.” when the barber arrived at his shop the next morning, he found a dozen small prayer booklets on the stoop along with a thank you note from the priest. A few days later, a police officer came in. “How much do I owe…
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1. The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. 2. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight-savings time. 3. People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor. 4. The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment. 5. You should never say…
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English in Non-English Speaking Countries! Examples of how English is being used in different parts of the world: In a Tokyo Hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis. In another Japanese hotel room: Please to bathe inside the tub. In a Bucharest hotel lobby: The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable. In…
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