Thief
Q. Why did the blond steal the cop car? A. Because it had 911 on the side of it and she thought it was a Porsche.
(1)
Loading...
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Jokes News
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Cop Jokes - page 4
Musta been Sex
Two builders were working on the 48th floor of a skyscraper. One turns to the other and says, ” Damn, I gotta take a piss.” The other guy tells him to go ahead. The first guy says,”hell, we’re on the 48th floor. By the time I get to the ground, I’ll have pissed my pants.” The second guy looks around and spots a plank about twelve feet long, and gets an idea. He tells the first guy, “Hey, listen. I’ll…
(1)Loading...
You might be a redneck if ……
You might be a redneck if …. 1. You have a complete set of salad bowls that say “cool whip” on the side . 2. If the biggest city you have ever been to is wal-mart . 3. If you thought the unibomber was a wrestler . 4. If you use you ironing table as a buffet table . 5. If your neighbor thinks you’re a cop because you come home in a cop car every day . 6. If…
(0)Loading...
Blonde watching out
A blonde and a brunette were speeding down a highway. The brunette said, “Watch out for any cop’s lights.” After a while the brunette said, “Are there any cop’s lights behind us?” And the blonde said, “Yes, no, yes, no, yes, no….”
(1)Loading...
Running a Red Light
A police officer in his car sees a driver out in the open turn on a red light. The cop drives up to the car right away, pulls it over and walks to the driver, seeing that it was a foreigner. “That was a red light over there.” She replied, “I know, so?” “Well, in this country, you can’t turn on a red light.” “But the sign said no right turns on red so I made a left.”
(1)Loading...
Spontaneous Baptism
Three little boys were concerned because they couldn’t get anyone to play with them. They thought it was because they weren’t baptized. So they went to the nearest church. Only the custodian was there. One kid said, “We’ve got to be baptized ’cause no one will play with us. Will you baptize us?” So the custodian took them in the bathroom and dunked them in the toilet bowl, one at a time. He said, “Now, go out and play.” When…
(5)Loading...
Everybody Does It!
ACCOUNTANTS are good with figures. ACTORS do it on cue. ADVERTISERS use the “new, improved” method. AMBULANCE DRIVERS come quicker. ARCHAEOLOGISTS like it old. ARCHITECTS have great plans. ARTISTS are exhibitionists. ASSEMBLY LINE WORKERS do it over and over. ASTRONOMERS do it with Uranus. ATTORNEYS make better motions. AUDITORS like to examine figures. BABYSITTERS charge by the hour. BAILIFFS always come to order. BAKERS knead it daily. BAND MEMBERS play all night. BANKERS do it with interest – penalty for…
(4)Loading...
Alabama State Trooper
Two guys are driving through Alabama when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick. The driver rolls down the window and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, “Why’d you do that?” The trooper says, “You’re in Alabama, son. When I pull you over, you’ll have your license and registration ready.” The driver says, “I’m sorry, officer, I’m not from around…
(1)Loading...
Where’s My Car?
A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches. “Can I help you, Sir?” “Yesssh! Ssssshomebody ssshtole my car!” the man replies. The cop asks, “Where was the car the last time you saw it?” “It wassss at the end of thissss key!” the man answers. About that time, the officer looks down and sees that the man’s “thing” is hanging out of…
(0)Loading...
If Men Ran the World…
Any fake phone number a girl gave you would automatically forward your call to her real number. Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to “I love you.” Hallmark would make “Sorry, what was your name again?” cards. When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to…
(0)Loading...