Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
I have five siblings . . . three sisters and two brothers. One night I was chatting with my mom about how she had changed as a mother from her first child to her last. She told me she really had mellowed quite a lot over the years . . . “When your oldest sister coughed or sneezed, I called the ambulance. When your youngest brother swallowed a dime, I just told him it was coming out of his allowance.”
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Every newspaper in New York sent a reporter and a staff photographer to the office of a local ophthalmologist when it was learned that he recently performed a successful sight-saving operation on the wife of the country’s most celebrated pop artist. In addition to paying the doctor’s usual fee, he had gratefully insisted on painting one of his contemporary masterpieces across an entire wall of the doctor’s waiting room. The mural turned out to be an immense multi-colored picture of…
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One morning, the owner of a diner gathers all four of his employees and tells them, “Business has been so bad these days that I am forced to fire one of you.” The black dishwasher is the first to speak up, “Well, I’m the only black around here and you wouldn’t want to get into that.” The pregnant waitress warns, “As the only woman in your employment, I can sue you for sexual discrimination.” Crossing his arms, the old cook…
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Judi stormed up to the front desk of the library and said, “I have a complaint!” “Yes, Ma’am?” “I borrowed a book last week, and it was horrible!” “What was wrong with it?” “It had way too many characters, and there was no plot whatsoever!” The librarian nodded and said, “Ahhh. So YOU must be the person who took our phone book!”
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Q: What do cows give after a long drought? A: Powdered milk.
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A guy is nagged by his wife, who is ardently supported by his mother-in-law. They ask him for a vacation, so he goes around shopping for the cheapest offer. The salesman offers him a vacation for two to New Zealand with two confirmed Silk Air flights, free breakfast, Bungee jumping- No strings attached. The man asked the salesman if he could forgo other benefits for extra bungee jumping with no strings attached.
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A woman from the deepest, most southern part of Alabama goes into the local newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is written. The obit editor informs her that the fee for the obituary is 50 cents a word. She pauses, reflects and then says, “Well then, let it read, ‘Billy Bob died.” Amused at the woman’s thrift, the editor says, “Sorry ma’am there is a 7 word minimum on all obituaries.” Only a little…
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10. Yes, of course the water is purified. 9. I don’t usually drink this much. 8. I’ll be right back with your change. 7. None of my silver is plated. 6. I’ll ask my manager. 5. No hablo ingles. 4. My dad owns this place. 3. Really, the free breakfast has nothing to do with time share. 2. I’m divorced, I just wear the ring for my kids. 1. Just one more drink and we’ll go home!!
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A cowboy was walking down the street with his new pet dachshund. The passerby asked him why a cowboy would own that kind of dog. The cowboy answered, “Well, somebody told me to get along little doggie.”
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Bob and Fred are fishing in the lake when one lands a corked bottle. He pulls the cork, and a genie comes out. “For freeing me from the bottle, I will grant you anything you wish,” says the genie. Bob looks down at the empty cooler in the boat and says, “I wish this lake was filled with beer.” There is the sound of a small poof, and suddenly the entire lake is filled with beer. Bob looks at Fred…
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