Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Laugh for Fun - Funny, Blonde, Dirty, Women, Yo Mama Jokes
Did you hear that they caught the Lone Ranger? They took off his mask, put him up on a horse, and then put a noose around his neck. Before they hanged him, they asked him if he had any last requests… He said “yes” and that he would like a big cigar to smoke! Well, they gave him one and he began to smoke and puff, and puff and smoke. Just then one of the cowboys from the back of…
(1)
Loading...
True Story: I went to lunch at an Olive Garden restaurant with a group of co-workers one day. One of the guys who went with us, Ilya, is a Russian immigrant who is still working on his English skills. I had been encouraging him to use more American idiomatic expressions and slang. The waitress at the restaurant seemed very nervous. When she brought out the drinks she spilled them all over the table. Of course everyone broke out laughing. Except…
(2)Loading...
Did you know they’re having a hard time with the DNA on Monica Lewinsky’s dress…. It seems everyone in Arkansas has the same DNA! ——- You know how Bill & Hillary met don’t you?….. They dated the same girl in college! ——- Did you hear Hillary is now getting up at 4 AM every morning?…… She stated the she is going to be the First Lady!
(0)Loading...
A guy goes to the doctor and the doctor examines him and gives him a prescription for suppositories. “Take two of these a day and come back in two weeks”, said the doc. After two weeks, the guy returns and the doctor says, “Well, how did that medicine I prescribed work for you?” The guy says, “Doctor, for all the good those damned things did me, I coulda shoved ’em up my butt!”
(1)Loading...
Did you know that it costs forty thousand dollars a year to house each prisoner? Jeez, for forty thousand bucks a piece I’ll take a few prisoners into my house. I sometimes live in Los Angeles. I already have bars on the windows. I don’t think we should give free room and board to criminals. I think they should have to run twelve hours a day on a treadmill and generate electricity. And if they don’t want to run, they…
(0)Loading...
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don’t get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that’s the way the game is played. Here is a guide to the Points System. —————————————— SIMPLE DUTIES: Making The Bed: You make the bed …………………………………………+1 You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows……..0 You throw the…
(0)Loading...
For his wife’s birthday, a doctor ordered a cake with this inscription: “You are not getting older, You are getting better.” When asked how he wanted it arranged, he said, “Just put ‘You are not getting older’ at the top, and ‘You are just getting better’ at the bottom.” It wasn’t until the good doctor was ready to serve the cake that he discovered it read: “YOU ARE NOT GETTING OLDER AT THE TOP, YOU ARE JUST GETTING BETTER AT…
(0)Loading...
While the U.S. stock market was at an all-time high, the ups and downs frightened a lot of small investors. A guy went to his financial adviser at the bank and asked if he were worried. He replied that he slept like a baby. He was amazed and asked, “Really? Even with all the fluctuations?” He said, “Yes. I sleep for a couple of hours, then wake up and cry for a couple of hours.”
(0)Loading...
Traffic was excessively heavy at an intersection in New York City. A very obviously pregnant woman, stepped right out into traffic to cross the street and the screeching of brakes could be heard for blocks. One irate truck driver leaned out his window and yelled: “Hey Lady!! You can get knocked DOWN, too!”
(1)Loading...
A man entered a restaurant and sat at the only open table. As he sat down, he knocked the spoon off the table with his elbow. A nearby waiter reached into his shirt pocket, pulled out a clean spoon, and set it on the table. The diner was impressed. “Do all the waiters here carry spoons in their pockets?” The waiter replied, “Yes. Ever since an Efficiency Expert visited our restaurant… He determined that 17.8% of our diners knock the…
(0)Loading...